Wednesday March 10, 2021

 So this week has not gone as planned. The girl we baby sit has been sick and they have kept us on our tiptoes about whether or not she is coming. THIS WHOLE WEEK. So Everyday I think she is and then they tell us last minute she isn't. which is a huge anxiety attack trigger for me... last minute changes and stuff.

and then theres... the whole.. part that for someone with anxiety it's kind of like....... living hell. 

And what's worse is yes, I'm basically getting a week off-- but for someone with anxiety, i'm mentally(if not physically) prepping for her all day if i think she's coming. and then...poof -- no kid. 

so a week off that i can't even full appreciate. THAT is frustrating. LIKE REALLY FRUSTRATING.

if i knew she wouldnt be here i could have actually relaxed

so yeah i'm updating my blog to bitch about something. I'm sorry.

IN OTHER NEWS

I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow--- Telehealth. online therapy.

And my next appointment is with the Hematologist on the 25th to check my blood and basically get the go ahead for the iron infusions

i have borrowed one of my dad's tablets to read Ebooks on and i am in love. i used it for the same thing before and i'm reading some of the same stuff. I discovered Anna Katherine Green. She wrote murder mystery crime stuff way back in the day and her books are free on project gutenberg.

I'm also reading other books that I read as a child "The little princess" "the secret garden" "alice in wonderland/through the looking glass"

And I've download a lot of Jane Austen books.. I'm making my way through Pride and Prejudice, but I keep getting either bored or distracted... I am having an easier time reading A Little Princess (it was a favorite of mine because my Nana pushed it on me so much-- we rented the movie of it over and over again, and she always told me I was a princess. so it's a huge nostalgia bomb for me)

Anyway...