Monday, September 20, 2021

Sept 20, 2021

 So the best thing that's happened is that I got to see the girl I was baby sitting.

When she saw me she said "HEY TAB TAB"

and my heart melted.

she wanted to sit with me and let me hold her and she played with me.


I'm trying to get myself on a house work schedule so I dont lose my mind but it's monday and I'm not even on it yet and it's noon.


I am slowly trying to put together my fall wardrobe but it's just my usual tanks and button ups and jeans and boots. I have a tan skirt that i might wear with tights and boots if i can get some new tights. And another problem is my boots are so worn out I dont know if I wanna wear them. lol

Friday, September 10, 2021

fall gifs










 

Friday Sept 10, 2021

 So much has happened this week, I cant even begin to talk about it. And a lot of it i WONT be talking about because its private business.


The happy note of the week is that yesterday, September 9 was mine and my husband's wedding anniversary.

FIVE YEARS!!!!!

We celebrated with delicious pizza and watching the newest episode of Marvel's "What If...?" show

we thought about going out to eat somewhere nice, but i think we both decided that after everything that's happened this week we should just keep things normal this year.

on top of the events of this week, our anniversary was the day of my pawpaw's funeral last year. so that is also a negative note.


This week is basically cursed. And last week two as far as that goes. Cursed from August 28 until sometime next week basically. lol CURSED I TELL YOU.


one of the few things I can talk about is how I wont be baby sitting anymore and its... kind of devastating.

I dont know what i'm going to do with my time or my days, i dont know how i will stay sane. I've just been sleeping this week since we havent baby sat at all and wont be from now on.

I can still see the little girl, she is the daughter of a friend. but i won't get to be an actual part of her life anymore. and its really... its really upsetting. I had grown so attached to her... the funny things she does, the way she says "tab tab" or the adorable way she loves this one little stuffed animal we have here, it's a monkey. and she goes "MONKEY" and we ask her wheres monkey and she gets distraught and all looking for it like oh no where is he and its so precious. She puts monkey to "nite nite" when its bed time and its just... all these little things she does has filled my heart up with so much love and now i dont know what i'm gonna do without her being here most of the week.

I haven't let myself have an actual good cry over it. I've cried but not a real ugly good mind clearing cry.

My plan is to wait a week or two and visit her and take her the monkey stuffed animal and surprise her with it and visit her.