Bipolar Type I - Generalized Anxiety Disorder w/ Panic attacks & OCD - PTSD - Chronic Eating Disorder (since 2005, it comes and goes)

Friday, October 23, 2020


 So I got new (prescription) stomach medicine and it seems to be working really well!!!! I had one scary moment yesterday were I think I had some gas build up in my stomach and it got hung in my hernia... this happens all the time but it felt different this time so I wasn't sure.. but I burped and it was ok.

We aren't baby sitting today and we didn't babysit last night and we wont on sunday. so we have a nice long weekend to ourselves. So we are going to cook and have movie marathons and such.

my husband is off work monday so we can even relax on sunday too.

We aren't sure if we want to keep my endoscopy appointment or cancel it, it might be a good idea to do it anyway just to keep an eye on my esophagus since I am more prone to all kinds of esophagus problems. 

But if my problem gets even better I dont know if its needed, it might just be a waste of money.

i'm still playing animal crossing new horizons.

also I've made friends with a girl who stream on twitch so that's pretty cool.

we are maybe going to carve a pumpkin for halloween this weekend.

I guess we should get some candy just incase some kids come up to the house. they usually dont but you never know. 

i'm running a little behind on sweeping the floor but the rest of the house is moderately ok.

i'm trying here, damn it

Thursday, October 15, 2020

so much going onnn - oct 15, 2020

 So, ok.. Lets start with monday. 

on monday I had an appointment with the Gastroenterologist that i was seeing last year, and we apparent got the BOSS lady of nurse practitioners because this woman was on point. she was caring, attentive, and efficient. She looked over my past case, saw how severe my problems were and how we couldn't really figure out anything. She did the putting stuff together, the doctor just repeated what she said, honestly. She was that good.

So now I am on a new medicine for my stomach, but a side effect is it depletes vitamin B12 which i need to process Iron. So my anemia will probably come back. Also, the kinds of medicine i've been taking for my stomach might have been making my anemia worse all along. so there's that to think about.

Also if this stomach medicine doesn't work well enough, I will be having an endoscopy and then probably surgery. they would be wrapping my esophagus and removing my gallbladder. 

But that might not happen if this medicine works. we will give it about a month to see, I have an Endoscopy scheduled and i will cancel if the medicine seems to have worked.

on top of this stuff, me and my sister-in-law are baby sitting every week night from 2pm to 8am so its kind of exhausting. not much time to do anything. very little window of free time. however, its two of us watching the baby, we can let the other run errands if need be

so i dont know, life is happening i mean you can't stop it... even if you need a break

that's life.

here have an autumn tree

Saturday, October 3, 2020


 October 3rd is MeanGirls day, if yall didn't know.

My parents are here today, they worked on my brothers car and we all watched the alabama football game.

Earlier my husband and I ran errands, got groceries, etc. Ate mexican, I had the best quesadilla. Chicken mushroom and onion. SO GOOD.

My husband untangled a pumpkin garland that was tangled so now I have another halloween decoration to put up =)


but i'm trying not to talk about it.

thanks for reading. 

Friday, September 25, 2020

So I've been not.... blogging

 things have been really dark for me lately. I was already down and my pawpaw died from COVID-19 complications and it's just been a really insane rough time.

I've been cooking and baking. Lots of baking. trying to keep busy.

i dont really have much to say, my husband has been amazing and i love him. i've needed a lot of support and he has been there for me.

there's a lot going on that i can't talk about and i probably wont talk about, but it's a huge thing and very stressful.

but anyway, let think about other things like hey.. HALLOWEEN!!!!

Saturday, September 12, 2020

Hello September

 I have nothing good to say about this month so far, my grandfather died. Complications involving covid-19.

I kind of am just mad at the world right now.

Saturday, August 15, 2020

I haven't updated in a long time

 Its been quite a whirlwind set of events here.... with the juggling the baby sitting and then having to not baby sit because my parents are replacing the floors of the hours (hardwood floors) and there was a lot of water damage and unexpected set backs. 

though my uncle and cousin and a man from the church helped a lot... a LOTTTTT.

and while this is happening, my Pawpaw had been falling a lot and they ended up taking him to the emergency room and admitting him and then relocating him to another city because they have a specialist there. We were under the assumption that there also weren't enough beds open for him to go anywhere near here but that wasn't the case, so the entire thing was a huge fiasco and it gets even worse because they figured out what was wrong with him and got him on the mend and now he needed to go to rehab but his insurance didnt wanna pay, so that was another fight.

Also one of my teeth has broken off and will probably break off more if i eat hard foods so i have been changing what i eat. this whole thing with my teeth is a nightmare and we need to get something done but we dont have to money or the time. insurance wont pay for what actually needs to be done which is why its so frustrating.

my teeth are on the back burner of this cluster fuck of what is going on right now.

we have to build pawpaw and little cabin to live in out here near us, he can't live by himself, and he doesnt wanna go back to the house he was living in. 

so the floors need to get finished, a house needs to be built. we need to find a way to keep the baby until the floor is done and its safe here and then my tooth

and then theres the fact that my cat has decided to die

and nobody believe me they think i just let it run out of gas.

so there's that. i really have nothing positive to say i just figured i should update

Tuesday, July 28, 2020

July 18, 2020 - Staycation

So due to Covid19 and other unforeseen things we have decided to take a vacation to... a hotel 30 mins from my house. haha
It's going to be cheaper because we wont be using gas to travel so far, so that should be a good thing, I think
Today is the first full day in the room and I am trying to relax.
I had been having a lot of trouble relaxing at home, I cant fully explain why. It just seemed like no matter what I did, no matter how much rest or sleep I got.... it wasn't enough.
So my husband is being a wonderful man and letting me stay in a hotel in town while he works during the week so it's not exactly a vacation for him, save for he doesn't have to drive 30 home and 30 mins to work every day. and we get privacy and a nice big king sized bed and can turn the AC as low as we want. haha

I hope he enjoys this, or I will feel bad for being so selfish and needing and wanting to do it.

here's some photos from the first night, hotel and food etc

our room

we had mexican for dinner

this is the inside of my delicious grilled chicken quesadilla with added mushrooms and onions. and a dollop of sour cream there at the top.

I hope to post again while we are on "vacation" I've got a lot of time in the hotelroom to relax. I'm probably going to take a nice long bath at some point. I just wish I brought a bath bomb or something haha