today was a big day!

I did so much big girl stuff today. I picked a new mental health clinic for myself and got an appointment. Got paperwork emailed to me.

I met a neighbor who was parking in the handicapped parking and talked to him about parking in a normal spot because it's literally right in front of our door and my husband has a handicap tag. He said there never was any body handicapped here for years so they just started parking there but he will gladly park somewhere else. In exchange I will park somewhere else because I had been parking right in front of his door where he usually park and didn't know it. Lol so we are kind of trading spaces in a way.

I went to the shopping complex where Dollar tree is and went into the pet store and looked around. Talked to the cashier. Went into game stop and asked about switch joy con fixing or buying. I went into a consignment shop and looked around just cause it was there. And then I went to dollar tree and bought some more random stuff for the apartment. Two heart shaped plastic bins from the valentine's days stuff. And a wall art thing for Valentine's day that I intend to hang on the door when I get more of those removable command hook things. I got a hand mirror so I can see the back of my hair when I do my hair.

Oh and before all this I went to dollar general and got toilet paper, bathroom cleaner, razors so I can shave (all of mine are in the moving truck)

I'm starting a diet today and I feel pretty good.

Also did some stretches. And will be looking for some kind of light work out plan. Just to get myself going. This isn't a new years resolution... It's a new apartment new life thing. My weight has gotten out of control and I am at risk for diabetes. Among other things. So this is what's best for me. I will feel better when my food scale gets here so I can weigh out my food portions instead of having prepackaged stuff most of the time. I don't even have a measuring cup, I'm just using a plain coffee cup and hoping for the best when measuring cereal or liquids.

I have a good feeling about the mental health place. They know I've been seeing someone before and already have medicines I'm on so that's makes me feel better. They have been prompt in calling me back. I haven't had to wait. And they can see me before the end of the month apparently. So this is really great.

So anyways... Yes this was copied from a Facebook update haha. Two birds one stone.

WE MADE IT!

 unfortunately, our stuff with the movers has not. So we've been "camping" in our apartment. haha

It's great though! i'm nesting as best I can without all our stuff. lol "nesting"

I cannot thank my Father-in-law enough for his help in all this. And his wife, who has given us bedding. I am very grateful.

I just drove to the store by myself for the first time. My husband went to work for the first time today. I hope he has a good time, he was a bit nervous this morning and yesterday.

My cat was so miserable on the drive here, the medicine they gave us for her didn't work as well as I had hoped, but she wasn't that bad. Everytime I left her side to go take a bathroom break on the drive she started howling because she didn't know where I was. Poor baby.

And the first two days we were here she wouldn't leave my side. She is so attached to me and I didn't even realize how much until we moved. I am her safe place just as much as she is mine.

My husband has been amazing and I just hope this feeling will continue. I'm away from a lot of the things that give me anxiety and upset me all the time. The thing I miss most is my family and especially my Dad. My dad is my world and to not see him is really really hard on me. I've been texting him but he doesnt text much in general. I called him yesterday and we chatted. 

Oh and the very first full day we were here it snowed a TON. Dad wanted pictures of that haha

I hadn't seen real snow in over ten years. Not since 2010 when I was in Massachusetts that one winter.

Anyways, I'm gonna end this with some photos from the move and shortly after we got here. A lot of snow pics.

ok they uploaded in reverse chronological order, lol oh well

Sat Jan 1, 2022 - New year, New Life

 I know a lot of people are gonna be be saying "new year new life" but we actually mean it, here with our little family of me, my husband and Miss Lilly

in two days the movers will load up what we have in the storage unit, and the day after that we will leave for our new apartment. new beginnings.

None of this would have been possible if it wasn't for my husband's father. on top of that, we have received help from unexpected places and that is as much a surprise as it is a blessing. and i am very grateful for any and all help. I hope to thank these people in person, as soon as I can.

We are in the deep worst and hardest part of the packing and moving right now, I am just taking a much needed moment to breathe. My anxiety has been so bad over this move I thought I was going to break in half. Especially with the bad news for my family here, I felt horrible trying to pack up because I felt like I was abandoning them. But everything has turned out ok, actually. So that is, i think, a good sign for this move to be a success.

But I just have so much anxiety about every little thing and I don't know how to deal with it... I just snap and come off as a bitch. That's what happens, and I can't stop it as hard as I try.

So there's that. Which is horrible. For everyone around me.

We have a medication to give Miss Lilly so she will be sedated for the drive up. not completely out but very very sleepy. So that is handled. We have a temporary litter box and little and food to take with us up there so we can get her situated as fast as possible, and then let her take her time to come around. whatever she needs.

I've tried to think ahead for as much as I can but I'm still falling short, I know.

even the morning we leave i will probably feel like we are forgetting something or something isn't right, and i'll just have to live with that feeling because well, there's no turning back. haha

anyway i am done for now.

also, RIP Betty White. She was my favorite Golden Girl. and everything she did for humanity was just... she is GOALS.

RIP

Sunday December 19, 2021

So, on friday the place we were hoping to move in to said "yes" but  you have to sign the lease in person immediately or you can't have the unit.... So, my husband and I ... well, he took off work last minute and we hauled ass to our new apartment! 

The office of the place was previously a bank apparently, we did all the lease signing while sitting in the car drive through... they sent the paperwork through those tubes, you know what i mean? i don't know what they're called, honestly. It was absolutely ridiculous.

None of this would have been possible so fast if it wasn't for my father-in-law. I am so very extremely grateful. It's hard for me to find the words. He has helped us so much with finding a place and securing it so that we can make this move as smooth as possible.

Due to the timing of having to sign the lease immediately-- I missed my huge family christmas. which is very saddening, since I am going to move away and be even less likely to see my family from here on out.

But there was no way around it, we had to do what we had to do.

Tomorrow I have therapy, and I have SO MUCH to tell my therapist!!! I should make notes, haha.

And on wednesday I have to take Miss Lilly to the Veterinarian because this apartment wants pets to be up to date on every and all possible vaccinations and my baby girl hasnt been to the vet since 2013, i think. I can't quite remember. She'll be terrified for sure, the pet carrier and the drive. I am going to ask the vet for a sedative to give her for the move, I hope they will give us something. I can't imagine how she'd manage an 8 hour car drive without being sedated.

I could probably keep typing but I need to try and get some sleep.

 
 

WE ARE MOVING

I've been keeping it a secret for a long time but my husband applied for a new job and has gotten it! so..

So we are moving.

The job will have much better pay and the environment will be better for both of us.

But the down side is... the move has to happen FAST. We are going to be moving to a new state... by Jan 10. Hopefully the first week of Jan even. So there is a ton to do, and not much time to do it in.

Which makes me really anxious, which makes me stall. Because I get paralyzing anxiety. Especially when there's so much to do.... I get really overwhelmed. So this has been... well... not that great.

I have been trying. I Really have. And I'm gonna keep at it. I have to. 

I have a lot of clothes to donate to churches or good will, and also some to give to my cousin.

One of the set backs I'm having trouble with is that we need to be able to throw away more stuff... like the garbage can gets full from just normal stuff, and we are moving out of here and there's extra garbage and nowhere to put it.

Finding a place to live on such short notice has been a nightmare, and especially since it's a place far away.

And the application process, ahhhhh.

Luckily-- Thankfully-- My father-in-law has been helping us. Helping us A LOT. like, more than I could have ever expected. I dont think we'd be able to pull this off if it wasn't for him. And I am so grateful and thankful. If it wasn't for him, our dream wouldn't be coming true.

So yeah... I'm getting teary eyed now... ahhh.

Here have some christmas gifs

Thanksgiving 2021 part one

 Here's some photos from our thanksgiving/november vacation 2021

I will type a full blog post or... well, i better blog post... i can't promise it'll be great but I will try.. well, anyway i'll do that this weekend after everything is over 

tuesday nov 9. 2021

 I'm just updating to say we leave on vacation friday

i will maybe blog abbout the trip. i'm not sure yet.