THE USUAL SUSPECTS.... Bipolar Type I - Anxiety - Eating Disorder

Friday, April 30, 2021

April 30, 2021

 I haven't updated in a long time. The internet was out for almost TWO WEEKS. can you imagine??? thank god we have and endless supply for DVDs to watch. We got out all the kid safe ones for the little one because she loves her tv shows

The little one I babysit is getting into her "Terrible Twos" and she is increasingly more frustrating but also more adorable. She likes me more now than she had for the past half a year or so. She hugs and kisses me and sits with me and we watch movies and i feed her snacks and i introduced her to coloring yesterday!!!

She is still trying to figure out what hand she wants to use, but she seems to use both equally right now. So maybe she will be a true ambidextrious person... though i know when they send kids to school they try to force kids to be right handed. which is very sad, imo

Right now my husband and I are looking at possible living arrangement changes. I would talk more about it but i need to make sure he's ok with me talking about it.

My dad has been building a new back porch for months and he's finally almost in the last stage-- the roof.

I just got my second Pfizer vaccination shot for COVID-19 yesterday so I'm feeling a bit down.

I actually dont have much time right now, but I plan to update more now that we have internet back.

Tuesday, April 13, 2021

April 13, 2021

 I have today off from watching the little one so I thought I'd update. 

I have gotten the first round of the vaccine for covid-19. I will get the second in a week.

After that, we plan to visit my husband's mother. which will be very nice and exciting. It will be nice to get away and I love seeing her.

my mother's dog is close to passing away, and its hard on her. a big decision to make, to put a dog down.

Friday, April 2, 2021

April 2, 2021


it's my birthday month  

My husband got his second dose of the covid-19 vaccine.

I'm signed up to get my first shot on april 9th.

my husband is off work today and its nice to have it quiet and just us. we did our pizza friday at lunch and watched falcon and the winter soldier.

Tomorrow we are going on our usual grocery shopping trip. We might swing by another store to see if I can find some shorts that I like that fit well, since i've gained so much weight.

the little one we baby sit is starting to eat scrambled eggs and pb&j sandwiches on the regular, but what she loves the most is fruit. so we are going to buy little cups of mandarin oranges and mixed fruit for her to eat along with whatever else was are trying to get her to eat.

there are still some possible changes coming but its just... not high priority, what with all that's going on.

our pizza friday was DELICIOUSSSS

but on some real talk--- We had some trouble with my paypal card not being accepted at gas stations--- even if i paid inside.... and i had just used it in a store five minutes before..... so... we had a crazy day of me driving home not sure if i would have enough gas to make it because my card got denied at three gas stations, but worked everywhere else??? yeah.... its very strange and made me go ballistic... but my husband has been great through all of this, he is a wonderful man. we are just gonna figure out another way to get my car gassed up. 

I love my husband and his mom... AHH HIS MOM

she sent me the most amazing surprise birthday package so i have so much cool high end make up because she subscribed to Ipsy and just saved it and sent it to me... AHHHH so i got like four at once when i got her package. plus other stuff she sent. it was so overwhelming i felt so loved. 

Saturday, March 27, 2021

March 27, 2021

 So this week has been up and down, there was a huge tornado out break that was absolutely devastating.

so that interrupted our babysitting schedule.

we are talking about doing something for easter for the little one we babysit

my husband gets his second shot of the vaccine on thursday 

i planned on updating more but i have developed quite the headache just now.

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

Tuesday March 16, 2021

 We have made some headway with the little one we babysit! we have gotten her to eat more foods this past day or two. it feels like a HUGE victory. we are very relieved. putting her to bed hungry makes us feel very bad, but when she wouldn't eat what else could we do? we did make sure she got all the milk she wanted at least.

Neither me nor the person helping me watch her have had children so we are just doing what we hear or are told to do. We have most recently employed the use of a high chair. And have been able to get the little one to eat Chicken flavored rice, and mac and cheese. We need to find some meat so she gets protein. That will be the next goal. She is very hard to convince to try new food so it's been difficult. She also doesn't like getting her hands dirty and is not good enough to use her little plastic forks and spoons yet-- she can use the fork sometimes on ravioli or some such things. but the spoon is another thing entirely. she doesn't understand that it will spill. She also doesn't really understand that stuff can fall off the fork. We are doing our best.

So the spring severe weather season is upon us-- and tomorrow might be the first tornado out break of the year. It's looking very promising. I love storm-- I hate that people get hurt in them, but I love meteorology.

So I have been fangirling over a few things-- Marvel Movies--- specifically anything with Wanda (scarlet witch) also Bridgerton (there is a second season in the works!)

Bridgerton has me reading stuff like Pride and Prejudice.

anyway we are preparing for tomorrow and i am catching up on some chores, since the little one is being watched by someone else today and tonight. ( sometimes we get a day off, which is much needed, haha)

Hmmm... we have had some unwanted people in our field out here by the house and we are trying to get in under control, we have asked for advice from a very wise person and i hope we can put it to good use. These people are dumping rubbish and garbage and hanging out in our field and we need to get them to stop. We suspect they live near by and might be doing other illegal things, so maybe we can get something done about it.

That's all for now.

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

Wednesday March 10, 2021

 So this week has not gone as planned. The girl we baby sit has been sick and they have kept us on our tiptoes about whether or not she is coming. THIS WHOLE WEEK. So Everyday I think she is and then they tell us last minute she isn't. which is a huge anxiety attack trigger for me... last minute changes and stuff.

and then theres... the whole.. part that for someone with anxiety it's kind of like....... living hell. 

And what's worse is yes, I'm basically getting a week off-- but for someone with anxiety, i'm mentally(if not physically) prepping for her all day if i think she's coming. and then...poof -- no kid. 

so a week off that i can't even full appreciate. THAT is frustrating. LIKE REALLY FRUSTRATING.

if i knew she wouldnt be here i could have actually relaxed

so yeah i'm updating my blog to bitch about something. I'm sorry.


I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow--- Telehealth. online therapy.

And my next appointment is with the Hematologist on the 25th to check my blood and basically get the go ahead for the iron infusions

i have borrowed one of my dad's tablets to read Ebooks on and i am in love. i used it for the same thing before and i'm reading some of the same stuff. I discovered Anna Katherine Green. She wrote murder mystery crime stuff way back in the day and her books are free on project gutenberg.

I'm also reading other books that I read as a child "The little princess" "the secret garden" "alice in wonderland/through the looking glass"

And I've download a lot of Jane Austen books.. I'm making my way through Pride and Prejudice, but I keep getting either bored or distracted... I am having an easier time reading A Little Princess (it was a favorite of mine because my Nana pushed it on me so much-- we rented the movie of it over and over again, and she always told me I was a princess. so it's a huge nostalgia bomb for me)


Tuesday, March 2, 2021

Tuesday March 2, 2021

 So we are just moving along basically, i'm baby sitting and gaming and everything is mostly ok.

My husband has seen how down i am lately and has made a huge effort to help out with house work and i am so very thankful. I dont deserve him, i really dont. he has been just amazing this week and here lately and i am reminded how very lucky i am.

the little girl i baby sit is going through a phase of... not wanting to eat things, only eating one thing. and it's so frustrating! If it wasn't for my sister in law helping me i dont know what i'd do

February seemed to fly by, the weather is up and down. it was 80 something the other day and now its in the 50s again. typical alabama weather i guess.

i'm cooking dinner and i need to go so, that's all for now.