Bipolar Type I - Generalized Anxiety Disorder w/ Panic attacks & OCD - PTSD - Chronic Eating Disorder (since 2005, it comes and goes)

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Wednesday feb 19, 2020

I am pleased to announce that with the help of my psychiatrist we have been able to convince the insurance company to pay for my Latuda so, yay!

I am a little bummed because my pedometer watch I bought has stopped counting steps but everything else works. Save for it thinks the battery is always full, which it isn't. lol
I'm gonna let it die and recharge it and see what happens. If it doesn't work it was only $4
So the good news is I have another one that my mom gave me, it doesn't sync to a phone but it DOES work. the color is white though so that's a little sad. Because god knows I can't keep anything white clean but the band is washable so I guess I'm being sad for no reason. typical me.

My allergies have been going CRAZY for about a week. Not every day, but when it does I am a MESS. I just sneezed few times so I'm hoping today isn't one of those days. Because then I'll take benadryl and sleep because benadryl make me REALLY sleepy.

I did some archery sunday and messed up my arm really bad. It's bruised worse than ever.
They said I was anemic so I dont know why it was so much worse. It looks like I was in a car wreck, its such a huge bruise, really dark purple blue.
We also suspect I am holding my arm improperly because the string is hitting really far up on my arm.

I'm feeling kind of goofy so I'm gonna leave some annoyingly cute gifs now









Saturday, February 8, 2020

Sat Feb 8, 2020

So today my husband and I went to eat lunch together and then went shopping-
The main part of this was the ability to FINALLY get my meds. I turned in my prescription on Wednesday and they couldn't read his handwriting so they kept calling the doctor over and over again and they were getting no response, so I then started calling them over and over.
eventually at some time late last night, someone called the pharmacy and finally told them what my prescription said so i could finally get my medicine today--- 4 days later.

we are still waiting for the doctor to fight it out with the insurance company to try an get me the medicine i need, but they have also prepared us for worst case scenario and given me a prescription of an alternative medicine that is supposed to be similar. but i'm not supposed to take it unless i run out of the samples they gave me and the appeal to the insurance company fails.

its just a whole lotta stuff that makes me all kinds of angry because when doctors and stuff get complicated my brain shuts down from the anxiety. i can't process what happens, so thankfully my husband is usually there to help me.

Today I got home from town and just wanna do stuff--- i'm reorganizing little things that don't matter to anybody but me and for some reason I started playing minecraft again.

Im just trying to make it to the therapy-- which is Tuesday if she doesn't cancel again. She was sick last time and if its the flu idek how long she might be out. I just really dont know what to do with myself, I'm trying to do house work and be productive but it feels so empty and getting up the nerve to do it is hard. like what... i dont know if its depression or anxiety or both but sometimes I just cannot get up and do shit.

I've been making chains of beads while I watch movies or tv, so thats good. keeps me from wanting to eat all day while i'm watching stuff lol.

we are keeping our friend's baby this week-- my mom and dad are and we help a lot. so that is the most fun thing. but it only happened every two weeks and then we dont see her again for two weeks.
so its kind of a yay time
followed by a "wat am i doing with my life this sucks" time

so i guess that's about it for now







Friday, January 31, 2020

Jan 31, 2020 - trip recap

I finally found the outline for the blog draft I was going to write, so here is my late christmas trip summary.





Day one - Friday: my husband and I woke up on time and got going exactly as planned. However, my stomach was not very happy with me and we had to make some stops for me to handle my GERD and IBS issues. I ended up sleeping through most of the trip up, riding in cars makes me sleep like a baby.
When we got to our destination, which is where my husband's mother lives, we ordered a pizza from a legit Italian place and it was sooooo good. I ate so much pizza and by some grace of God I didn't get that sick. So woooo.

Day two - Saturday: we slept in a bit, then got ready and had lunch with my husband's friend and her boyfriend. The restaurant was amazing. Very pretty interior design. I took a photo to show mom and dad because it reminded me of stuff my dad would make.  I ate smothered chicken and green beans, but I ended up scraping most of the toppings off the smothered chicken.
That night my husband cooked dinner, fried chicken with honey on it and omg it was so good. I dont usually eat friend chicken at all, but daaaaaaaaaamn,

Day three - Sunday: my husband went to visit with his dad and they had a delicious lunch and watched some football. And my husband is so sweet, he got me ice cream on the way back. Most of the day I rested, my stomach was not feeling the best. But compared to other times we have visited, my stomach was much better than the past.

Day four - Monday: my husband made delicious breakfast for us-- fried bologna egg and cheese sandwiches on toasted bread, It was just what I needed. So good. After that we relaxed with mother-in-law, and my husband's cousin and his girlfriend, also my husband's grandmother came over. It was very nice to see my husband's cousin and his lady. They are good people. After everyone left my husband and I decided it was a good night to eat chinese takeout. Haha, which was delicious but, I would soon regret it.

Day five - Tuesday: I woke up with a huge acid reflux attack at 6am. I dont know why in the world my body decided to go ALL night and then be like "oh hey, 6am, lets choke on stomach acid"
So we slept a little later than planned, because I had such trouble with that. But eventually we packed up and got on the road to come home. I slept half the way home, and spent the other half singing annoying songs that drove my husband crazy. we made it home early enough to talk to my parents before going to bed.

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Thursday, January 30, 2020

Jan 30, 2020

I had a pretty large blog update outlined and I lost the outline.

So I'll just say I had a great trip to visit my husband's family.
And now I'm home and sad. And my new medicine is run out, and I'm just kind of sitting here wondering what I'm gonna do next.

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Jan 22, 2020

So, some stuff has happened and I'm thinking its best to update before we go on vacation.

I started a new medicine and now I can't get it because of insurance.
On top of that I had to miss my appointment with my doctor for refills because I had some kind of stomach bug or flu. All I know is I was violently sick for about 24 hours. I'm am starting to think it was the new antacid my husband got me, a generic of something I'd never tried. Or hadn't in a while. It might have just been a bad bottle. Either way I dont wanna ever try it again. I felt like I was dying. I'm pretty sure I ran a fever. Which is why I think it might have been a stomach flu instead?

My doctor did call in a small refill of my meds so I should have enough to last through our trip to ky.
All I need is caffeine pills now, which I forgot to get at the store.

I am packing as best I can, Its going to be cold on our trip and and all my winter clothes are bulky and will barely fit in my suitcase.

The trump impeachment stuff has my husband working odd hours and super late and its upsetting in one way but also I get to see him more in the morning.

I've been lax on my obsession with making lists for packing... I'm just throwing stuff in a suitcase and hoping I get everything.

I do know I wanna take books to try and detox from some gaming I've been doing lately. I haven't been like, gaming constantly but enough to keep me from reading which is bad since I set a reading goal with goodreads.com this year.

Right now I'm watching Harry Potter from the beginning, taking a wee break from StarWars. Haha, I was on a StarWars binge for weeks.
Also I'm running out of beads to make bead chains with, which I should get some because its good to do when I'm sitting and watching TV.

We aren't going to be baby sitting for while we had her for two weeks and now its out time "off"
which is sad but that's part of baby sitting, they go back to their parents and such.

I need to go pack now.


Monday, January 13, 2020

Monday Jan 13, 2020

So, I'm not sure what I have or haven't updated about, and I'm not really feeling like checking my last post, lol.

So-- My new medicine isn't covered by insurance so we are coming at a point where we aren't sure what is gonna happen.
We know the generic is supposed to be released by the end of this month, but we aren't sure how soon it will make it to pharmacies or the insurance will be agreeable.

I go to see the doctor this week to try and figure out what to do.
We hope they will give me more samples so I can continue to take this medicine until they can get my the generic.

We have been watching our friend's baby again, but not as much as last year.
I have discovered all the best ways to make the baby laugh, which is my joy right now. haha
The trick is to make funny faces and strange noises, all the time. Even if you look like an idiot, ok especially if you look like an idiot.

I've been rewatching some starwars movies, and also a lot of old disney movies.

I'm monitoring how many steps I take a day and HAHAHAHA. I am so LAZY.

I'm trying to do more housework but I have been so tired lately. I think my iron might be low again, but we wont know anything until next month.

I'm kind of tired of typing now, so I will leave you with some gifs.







Saturday, January 4, 2020

Jan 4, 2020 --Saturday

We are home!
We went to the Pearl River Resort with my mom and dad and I THINK if it wasn't raining and we didnt go to the casino to gamble, we'd have had a really good time. The room was nice and comfy, except for there was no minifridge or microwave. which would have been really nice.

But the other nice stuff in the room made up for it

I'll be honest though I mostly slept the whole time. haha
The huge dinner friday night was delicious and I should have eaten more but I was so bloated and gross feeling I just couldn't eat that much. I ate a lot of potatoes and mac and cheese and baked fish and shrimp.
The drive over there was horrible. So rainy, like... just the worst kind of rain. Dreary and gross.

When we got home the cat collars I ordered from Wish were here and my cat has a beautiful collar now.

And I have some cool washi tape for my planner.

I mended one of my husband's work shirts when we got back, I'm doing a lot of sewing lately. it's nice. makes me feel housewife good.

Anyways, this next week I have an appointment with my Psychiatrist and Therapist. I haven't seen my therapist in a month! It's been so hard.  I have so much to say that I dont even know what to tell her, I'm going to have to start writing stuff down so I can remember what to tell her or I will just go in there and run my mouth and not talk about the things that actually matter. she lets me talk as much as i want but it seems to be getting in the way of my actual progress lately.

Here's some photos from our trip and today.


we went to the Philadelphia House of Pancakes. was good.

house of pancakes


po ta toes and skrimps. and maccychese. this is from the big dinner we did friday night

"that's no moon.... it's a space station"
lol




and these are some photos from my wish order
a cat collar for my princess


super thin washi tape!