Post endoscopy vlog sat June 15, 2019

Text update

Trying to make this not a complete vlog blog lol....

I wasn't gonna post about this until I got the endoscopy results and then I realized the endoscopy is on a Friday so it might be middle of next week or later... So I will just tell now.

They did very advanced detailed blood work Tuesday. And I found out yesterday that my iron level is ridiculously low. Like almost non existent.
So that is why I have been so good damn tired. I mean, I get tired after 15 or 30 mins of doing anything. And if it's stressful work even faster. I have been thinking I am pathetic and lazy and weak and worthless. But I actually have a physical reason for my lethargy and being so tired all the time and how I get exhausted so fast.
They are referring me to a hematologist.
And the endoscopy will help see if I'm losing blood via a peptic ulcer or if my hiatal hernia is ... What's the word.. perforated? And bleeding.
Also I will see an OBGYN because my lady stuff is suspicious of being a cause of lost iron too.

So some of my stomach problems might be causing my iron deficiency. And we will find out soon. Also find out how bad my hernia is. And if I have an ulcer.
Then they will decide if they will take out my gallbladder and do any other surgery to help my problems with being able to eat foods without pain almost Everytime I eat. Or vomiting. Or whatever. (The hernia stuff) which could help stop my lost of blood/iron.

But it looks like either way I will be on super high iron supplements soon. And may or may not be having surgery for one or two different reasons.

Which I mean... Hell that's fine. If that iron supplements thing makes me feel better and have the energy to live life that would be freaking awesome.

Wed June 12, 2019

June 11, 2019 vlog

I am really getting lazy... its so much easier to talk for like five minutes than spend half an hour or more trying to make a blog post lolol

another vlog because i'm too lazy to type. also too tired.

vlog #2

I'm a day or two late posting this here but here is vlog number 2

therapy and future plans?

I got up at 4:30am and got dressed and we went to birmingham for my therapist appointment.
i couldnt sleep much last night so i was kind of wonky but idk. i was anxious about the appointment because i had a lot to tell her and ahhhh
but it was good.
I played Animal Crossing in the car on the way to and back so I didn't fall asleep in the car. I wanna try and keep a normal sleep schedule so staying awake was good. also it gave me something to do other than annoy my husband while he's driving. (interstate driving is worst and the stretch of interstate we have to travel for this is ridiculously bad with construction and lane changes and just no good)
so its good that i wasn't bothering him while he was driving-- it seemed like traffic was particularly bad today.

anyways--
there's an award banquet coming up(this weekend?) that i am not going to because i've been sick lately and seeing the doctor more. and there just hasn't been time.. to need a dress and i dont know if i can eat the food so. yeah

but this weekend I might see my cousin April and spend time with her instead so that is a very good trade off haha!

😁
 and then i have an appointment with an upper GI doctor on June 6th to see what is up with my esophagus and gallbladder??
after that the Dark Phoenix movie comes out and I really wanna see that because I love her in the comics and its also the woman who played Sansa Stark in Game of Thrones so i just...  i wanna seeeeee lol.

then i finally see my therapist again on june 19th. i need to call the nurse practitioner before that and let them know i will run out of meds and they need to call it in? it seems like a very complicated weird situation between him and the actual psychiatrist and the therapist like i cant... i cant make it work in my mind so i need to get my husband to help me.

he has been my everything through this i have been a little pile of poop and he has taken care of me and i dont deserve it at all... and i am so grateful. i love him so much. i can't explain it. he is my everything.

anyways. uh