Wednesday, May 17, 2023
copy pasta from facebook
Tuesday, May 16, 2023
I hate doctors
Tuesday, May 2, 2023
Sunday, April 23, 2023
Sunday morning thoughts
Sunday, April 9, 2023
more diag-non sense
I feel really overwhelmed. because i had just lost 35 lbs last fall and i know i’m still overweight but i am angry as fuck
Because I have to work even harder. And lose more and yeah i know i am fat in the present but i was somewhat happy.
I got a glucose meter and my blood sugar is off the charts high. Even fasting in the morning it’s high.
I’m taking metformin and it's not really in my system and I can't remember if he said to double the dose after a week– I think he did but its not written anywhere and I can't remember. I will call on monday when the office is open
The other medicine is very expensive and my insurance wants us to get a “Prior Authorization” which is apparently hard
We need to call the insurance and ask what they will cover in the same family as ozempic and try that but the pharmacist said the alternatives are expensive too. So idk what is gonna happen
The metformin isn't in my system good yet. So my blood sugar is high,
But my blood sugar did crash in Walmart yesterday. So i don't know what is going on..just have to wait and see what happens with the metformin for now
I had to sit down and fortunately had bought something I could eat before I tried to get up and go to my car and drive.
I ordered a medical bracelet that says type 2 diabetes. Because I have had issues with this before now. Random blood sugar crashes. But i wasn’t diagnosed so idk. I am going to keep glucose tablets in my purse I guess.
Thursday, March 30, 2023
bipolar notes in the middle of the night
Sunday, March 12, 2023
I joined a band!
It has been so long since I have played clarinet with a band. or played at all.
So Last sunday I went to rehearsal and it was just a play through of everything. I absolutely could not play a note at all. I just sat there holding my clarinet. I cried a little. I was so overwhelmed. I knew I could play the music but... I couldn't.
So I spent this past week practicing every day. most days twice a day.
I did better at this rehearsal but I am still only at like 50% of my ability. and i could probably get even better if i kept pushing myself. I have natural talent and I just ... i dont think i tapped into my whole potential.
I don't really have anywhere to go with my playing but this band but even just this will be such a good thing for me.
I would think about asking to play second clarinet or first in the future but The 3rd part is challenging already. I know I'll get better and it will become easy but... with this band they need people on the third part. it's a good sized band but not much wiggle space on changing stuff up. so i am fine playing third even if i am good enough to play harder parts... i'd rather the band be balanced than demand i play first or second part. you need good players on the easier stuff just as much as the hard stuff. other wise it just doesn't all come together right.
so yeah i dedicated this past week to clarinet and i think i will do the same with this coming week.
i need to prove to myself i can actually play. i am not satisfied yet. no where near satisfied.