nothing much is happening.
my husband and i are dieting.
i'm obsessing about decorating for the holidays because that's pretty much all i have to look forward to.
i've told my mom about when we will be available and traveling to see everyone in december. and i told her to tell my family that they either need to figure out a day for the family gathering that works for us or plan to see us sometime on another day we are there. we waited for them to tell us a day for the gathering and they wont pin down a day and i know it's really early but we have a lot to schedule around.
it comes down to a if you want to see me you need to make an effort because i am making am effort by coming back to visit and i dont know i'm just getting really bad feelings about it. and its supposed to be a good thing to go home and visit family. especially on holidays times and like... i'm just getting really upset about it. i can't enjoy it. and i cant enjoy being away from them either so i'm just... i have no joy anymore. yet again. despite the new medicine. despite the increase in the new medicine.
i am crying a lot lately and i dont know what to do about it.
i'm afraid to tell my psychologist.
my psychiatrist left or was let got of the place i was so i have to start over with someone new there who apparently doesnt plan on prescribing me my anxiety medication so i will probably also have to find a new mental health place.
so like yeah nothing is happening but bad stuff is happening i dont know.