Bipolar Type I - Generalized Anxiety Disorder w/ Panic attacks & OCD - PTSD - Chronic Eating Disorder (since 2005, it comes and goes)

Tuesday, June 23, 2020

June 23, 2020

So I had my second dentist appointment and the surgery. I am so thankful that my dentist is amazing, he was able to save two of my three teeth that they thought I might lose. So I only had one tooth cut out yesterday. I'm on an altered diet today and yesterday and probably tomorrow. My husband was wonderful and got me soft food I can eat easily. Because he loves me and he is amazing.

We have been baby sitting and the little girl we baby sit is growing so fast and she is so precious and adorable I can't get over how wonderful she is.

I'm doing a little bit better with my depression lately, but I'm still feeling the pull of it.

My dad had a dentist appointment the same day i did, and he got some not so good news about his tooth soh he basically had the opposite day i did.

I've been doing my nail lately and its helping me feel better about myself. it's amazing how the smallest little self care thing can change how you feel. I admit its hard to be patient and wait for my nails to dry because the way I do them makes it take forever, I coat my nails a million times with polish because I want it to be very thick and less likely to wear off. But the waiting time for it to dry is insane. I dont wanna get all new polish and get that instant dry stuff so I am using what I have. I prefer really sparkly nail polish because I love glitter. Last time I did my nail my husband picked a random color for me and it was green haha, I only have one green nail polish that I got my christmas themed nails, so I did that with a sparkly top coat.

I've been decorating my planner a lot lately and I forgot how many awesome stickers I have so YAY.
I also decorated my new journal with lots of washi tape so that is really fun for me.
I'm trying to do stuff to make me happier, and its all these little things like this.

The dentist and oral surgeon appointment thing was kind of annoying with all the Covid-19 procedures, but we have to do it or we can't go to the doctor.

My next therapy appointment is at the very end of this month so it will still be a telehealth video session. But after that I will be driving myself to therapy for the first time and I am excited and scared at the same time. It's a good thing so my husband doesn't have to take off work, but it's also scary because I have to drive out in a place I don't usually drive and also my car has been trying to break down a lot. But my dad serviced my car and I think it's going to be fine honestly. So I just need to worry about my driving ability.

I guess that's all I got to say now.
I'm gonna go play some animal crossing, it's almost 8am and that means the shop opens and I can sell all my fruit for the day. haha.


Sunday, June 14, 2020

June 14, 2020

So things have been pretty ok, I got my car fixed, had an iron infusion, went to the dentist.
I "saw" my psychiatrist and got my meds (though there might be an issue with refills that I need to work out soon)
The dentist scheduled me for another appointment and surgery, on the same day so as to make it easier on everyone when it comes to numbing my mouth and having to take off for it i suppose. So I'm losing another tooth, possibly two.

I think the iron infusion has helped me. I am less tired I think.
I have more energy, I'm also trying to not take ambien every night and just see if I can sleep on my own. Mixed results with that but atleast when I dont take it I am less likely to sleep half of the next day?

We have been baby sitting again and it is a wonderful thing. The baby just turned one and she is a hoot. We look foreward to her being here. And when she isn't here it just feels so empty.... even though that when she is here we get exhausted keeping up with her... lol

So like I said my sleep pattern is all kinds of weird. I am waking up randomly at night and staying up for an hour and then going back to sleep.
This last night I woke up at 11, 1 and 4 and I just decided to stay up when I woke up at 4am. Like ok, lets do this.

we have been talking about vacation plans so we shall see where that goes. Not Beach vacation but just a vacation.

Sunday, June 7, 2020

June 7, 2020

So here we go, another update.
Since I last updated We have started baby sitting our friend's little girl again, which is absolutely WONDERFUL. She is a joy. She just turned 1 year old and I am so excited. She absolutely loves me, which makes me feel special and overhwhelmed at this same time because I dont handle constant attention very well I get exhausted, so I keep sneaking off to breath.
This is another sign that no, I would no be a good mother after all. Which we already knew, but just more fuel for the case, so to speak.

My car broke down and My dad fixed it up and its great now! I'm so excited!
And now I can drive myself to the dentist this next week. And maybe to birmingham for therapy when I start going back in person when the insurance stops covering the Covid-19 emergency telehealth stuff.

I realized last night that only ONE of my life, 5 prescriptions has a refill written out for it. so that is going to be hell when I need to get a refill. I'll have to call greyson and leave and message and explain the problem and hope they understand and will call the pharmacy and take care of it without making us jump through 15 hoops to get my medicine filled.

last night I got a wild hair and decided to paint my nails which is something i havent done in year or two, i was hoping itd help me feel more girls but i dont know if its working maybe it would have if i picked a girly color. and not black silver gray sparkles lol

I have been watching the movie Zootopia on repeat in the background because its a wholesome child level look at racism. and uh, its just a good damn movie.