Friday, June 24, 2016
im trying to get through some personal things and hoping they get my medicine to me and hoping i get my medication complaint form taken care of.
trying to function without prozac leads me to take other things that i dont want to take and i feel guilty about it all the damn time.
why cant my doctors just trust me i need the prozac and the other meds at the same time okay thanks i have put my mind and body through hell and im pretty sure i can handle them all at once i got this give me my medication so i can stop going insane
i am counting down the day until i get pokemons
my wedding gift will be a nintendo 3ds the best they make and pokemon sun and moon since my wedding party is in september... we will have a honey moon fund to help buy stuff with and hopefully that will work out. we will honey moon somewhere probably but its not a big deal just the beach or something
i fucked up and had to quit shadow temple halfway through so now i'm SUPER fucked and have no fucking idea where i am and have to get to where i was from the beginning and its making me want to stop playing really bad... which brings me back to pokemon
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
there was a storm that took out the internet here and i had no internet for days
no netflix either
i just about died
days were bleak nights were long
i think we may have went through our very own dark age here
i couldn't play the wii because i needed my walkthrough to play zelda
and i need the internet for the walkthrough
and in pokemon i am unsure and need walkthrough too
today i am updating to say that i have been in bed for like two weeks now
its been a crazy little ride
and i am still alive
on saturday stan and the radio people had an awards banquet and they won some big award and it was all celebration time
so when they got back i drug my ass out of bed and went with them to the pub and it was fun. more fun than i have experienced in a long time
we hung out at alex's apartment later and that didnt go as well everybody was tired and ready to call it a day by then
on sunday we went to red lobster... took my parents out for fathers day
the food was amazing like.. the best i've had there in a long time. they must have stepped up their game for fathers day crowd cause that food was amaaaaaazing
yesterday was monday and i was supposed to be sitting here waiting for the new modem router thing and it never came so i slept and went to sleep early and slept all night
today i used the one computer that has internet magically somehow and watched netflix
stan stayed home today
today though i realized they have the new grey's anatomy on line so i am finally getting to watch the new stuff
today they delivered the new modem and its set up and now i can use the computer and everything is back to normal
i feel like the poop though
Sunday, June 12, 2016
Friday, June 10, 2016
basically the colors all kinds of crazy
no images look like they're supposed to and the whites are blue and black is red sometimes and he colors flicker and strobe lol
its like using the computer on an acid trip! lol
i am so glad to have the computer back though
my nails got so long that when i started typing i wasnt sure it was that i forgot how to type or that my nails were so long hahah
april and i are at fire temple in zelda and she cant play over the weekend so i am going to stop halfway through and start over with her. its best when we do it together. my fear of falling down through holes and shit in games and just holes in general kept me from finding the last rooms in forest temple. i went in circles for days. and apparently the walk through i was looking at sucked because it didn't even properly.. i dont know... i found another one on ign and that seems to be working well for me.
memories are slowly coming back. i did play all the way up to the last temple and quit last time i played so i mean... its been done damn it
my dad fixed the drier-- took the whole damn thing apart and found the belt that was fucked and replaced it
though the dryer itself has some things wrong with it that make it very very dangerous and actually a fire hazard so we have to be sure to turn if to off if we open halfway through the cycle or make sure we push the start button to restart other wise the elements will just sit in on position and get hotter and hotter and theres apparently no seal on the back so lint gets inside and coats everything an that can catch on fire in a heartbeat. they didnt even find one that was made or it... they would have to take a replacement for the front and make it fit.
i am kind of bored but not
i can watch pretty litttle liars and see what happened on the newest season
and color and watch house
which is probably what i will do
i think we are having pizza tonight. i keep eating a lot of bad fooods =( i'm getting fat again i just know it i can feel it weighing me down and making me gross gross gross
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
Apparently I'm not allowed to blog what happens in my life even if it's truth.
Today I am playing zelda and trying to clean up the apartment a little bit.
I feel fat as hell and there's no remedy for it.
My dad fixed the screen on my chrome book so it's ready and I can resume normal functioning soon. They are coming by tomorrow to look at the dryer because I broke the damn thing. Not sure what else is happening I think we are having chicken tonight for dinner. Yum yum.
Monday, June 6, 2016
I'm feeling really washed out and blank. I haven't had a down day in a few days so I guess that is to be expected.
I'm kind of frustrated with ocarina of time right now and need to take a break for the rest of today.
Tomorrow I am moving the wii into the bedroom Soni can play in here even when Stan is home and wanting the use of the TV in the living room.
April is playing Zelda with me at the same time which makes it more fun. But I feel really inferior to her because I am not doing side quests and I'm pretty sure that is going to haunt me later. But then again I can go back in time, right. So yeah.
Pretty much my darkest secret is I have never mastered this game. I have to look up stuff all the time. And I never played it until later. I just got obsessed with the story and lore when I first heard of and watched someone play it in 1999. So I watched a lot and eventually played but I never got to the point where I could just play through with ease and I feel really not good about that. Like it hurts me in some deep hidden place inside.. Lol because we'll that's kind of thing that starts off at the center of the story of how my life ended up the way it is. And it's seems like it should be a little more.. Solid in my brain somewhere. The music is what gets me going lately. Ahhhh.. ZREO... those beginning days with Sam and those kids will never fade from my memory. None of it will. I won't let it. Changed me too much to forget.
I am using pintrest to gather information for the "ido" BBQ. That wil take place in September in the place of a wedding. I bought invitations already that I want to use. Got 24 of them. Shouldn't need much more than that. Also got stickers to put on the envelopes but they aren't wedding stickers , just heart stickers that I really liked.
I haven't mentioned that I broke the drier and now we cannot dry clothes here. We can wash and wait until Mac lets us use his drier, but is don't really see that happening very much because of how much Stan is mad about the whole cat thing. Stan said he will be the one to go over there and do the clothes but I don't like the idea of him walking with a big basket full of wet laundry. It's heavy and I can barely carry it myself.
Now I guess I am done with th is entry.
I should eat with my night time meds but I don't want to.
But I have to. So I will do that and go lay down again. And again and again.
Friday, June 3, 2016
Due to a few factors I won't be going with Stan to Fairhope tomorrow... Er... Today.
He had a ridiculously bad week at work and the added stress of having to drive north for and hour and back to drop Hercules off before we can even start rolling is really overwhelming Imo.
On top of that the time without me would be a good time to de-stress and not have to worry about me. And he can be a guy and let all his gross guy habits hangout haha. Guys are so gross! They just are it's okay they came that way. Haha. I know that not having to wonder if I'm annoyed by his habits for a while will be refreshing since I am generally very irritable. I have to give Stan credit. He puts up with so much shit from me. I don't even know why he is still with me most days.
I will stay home and play Zelda since I can now. Omg I'm in heaven. I paused the game inside the great deku tree and just let the music loop while I did house work. And other random places obviously. I mean it's almost always playing in the very back of my mind. Why not listen for realsies.
I woke up at 1 cause I passed out at 8 but I was up fighting acid reflux for three or four hours. So I will go back to bed now. I just wanted to tell somebody or something about anything. Going insane with almost no one to talk to. I have April and that's about it.
But she is a whole hell of a better than a lot of weak friends. Quality over quantity.
SO my birthday was nothing and that is perfectly fine with me because i dont need a reminder that i'm getting older ok thanks hahahha ...
halfway done with my book for therapy! look at my baby girl! she's a princess (and she sheds reallllllllly bad) this is my...
My only news to report is that the major clinical depression struggle is very real and very kicking my ass lately. I am making due with v...
Previously the blogger app had been crashing when people attempted to make a post that Included images so I am going to make a test post ...