Tuesday, December 18, 2018

up all night, got demons to fight

my ativan didn't work tonight so i'm awake at 3am

Stan did a wonderful thing and ordered a cell phone battery for me! and it might be here tomorrow! I am so excited. I hope it makes my phone better because I love my phone and I miss it. I play a lot of games on it that are kind of like mind puzzles that I think have helped me get sharper. Or i hope they are.

I ate TWO cans of soup yesterday. I dont know why I wanted soup so bad but OMG it was delicious

I am making list after list after list for the christmas trip on saturday. I actually need to trim down what i'm taking because, as usual, I want to take my entire house with me. It's a weird comfort thing for me.

I gotta call in the refill for my anxiety medication tomorrow. and I need to call the psych office and try to find a new therapist since mine either randomly quit or died. he was really old and in bad health-- in and out of the hospital recently-- so i'm scared he died. I am sad about this. He was a great man. I miss him and will miss him for a long time, I think.
I have a chance to maybe see someone who treats eating disorders on top of the other stuff I struggle with so that would be a new thing for me-- I've never actually had help for that. I've just been kind of... not telling doctors about it and getting help for everything else but that. i know thats bad but... I just am not really ready to give up my eating disorder and I dont know if I ever can. so the ED therapist might not even wanna work with me if I'm not ready to do it.
and either way i wont even be able to see any new therapist until jan anyway

my skin is SOOOOO dry I am clawing myself from the itchy

my mom attempted to color my hair and botched it and it looks HORRIBLE. I am going to have to try and use sun-in to get it looking better. because this is crap. like i could have done better myself on myself. i wish i had done it myself. my mom is a hair dresser and i thought she would do a good job. better than me. but i guess i was wrong.

so I guess thats all for now. I'm really only updating because I am so bored and cant sleep. lol

No comments:

Post a Comment

Ok.... So. My husband is amazing

My wonderful husband has done so much for me lately. He got my car fixed. He bought replacement controllers for the Nintendo switch because ...