Friday, September 14, 2018

all i can say at this point is thank god for prozac

the psychiatrist has agreed to put me back on the 60 mgs of prozac i was on when i started seeing him and that has been able to pull me out of this depressive episode i have been in for all of august and some of september.
so now i gotta get back into the swing of living and my anxiety is really kicking my ass. making it hard to do just about everything i try to do.
Leaving the house by myself is a BIG deal. like. an event worth celebrating.
I'm find if Stan takes me places and drives me and he is with me. but I have not tried going anywhere with anyone else to see if I would be ok doing that.

My little brother is very close to moving into his trailer with his soon to be wife (they're getting married oct 13) and its very exciting and also happening very fast and  driving my mom crazy because she has to help him with setting up everything because he has no idea what all needs to be done to get a trailer set up out here in the woods (and to be honest i dont either its really complicated!)

aaaaand lets see. on monday the 24th I have a psychologist appointment (therapy)
and on tuesday the 25 we are going to the beach again for our anniversary (though our anniversary was back on sept 9... stan's job hasn't let him get off work until the end of the the month)
I am excited to go to the beach. Nana would have wanted to go and I am going to go for her. I miss her every day and It's still a very strong pain but I have found a way to push it to the back of my mind because if I focus on it I will never get better

I'm trying to start coloring in those adult coloring books again. its nice and relaxing.
I'm also trying to sit in the livingroom. especially right now while this hurricane footage is streaming live on the weather channel (i am a weather nerd)

I'm still journaling and stuff. not really playing video game right now. I'm still watching greys anatomy i dont think that will ever change. lol. Stan has gotten me started on watching the show Shameless (i love it a lot but I need a lot of mental attention to watch it and catch all the stuff that happens. its very fast paced)

hopefully in a few weeks we can get together with Alex and Sagen for a football game day party of some kind. we need to do that atleast once this fall.

and I gotta get a dress for Gordon and Krista's wedding on Oct 13. it needs to be a shade of purple so that is the hardest thing. almost all the dresses out in the stores right now are that really deep plum color and that is not the purple she was wanting but she says its ok, so atleast she is being reasonable and not all Bridezilla on us. haha

ok i'm gonna go color and eat some yogurt

tomorrow stan is meeting his dad and step mom for dinner and i am very happy he is getting the chance to see them. i know i am not welcome but that is ok. this is my fault and i am dealing with the feelings it gives me. its my fault, so that's all that can be said. i hope they have a good time.
because we aren't sure we will be able to get to KY for christmas this year (stan's job is making it hard for him to get time off)

anyway. my yogurt awaits me (its blueberry incase anybody is wondering lol)

my scheduled blog post

I have set up a habit tracker to try and motivate and keep track of my stuff so i have schedule to blog today. there is a lot going on. i...