Saturday, July 21, 2018

Saturday 7/21/2018

So today has been bad for me. Personally. I just woke up bad, I guess.
I got up just before 7am and it didn't storm last night like they predicted so that was disappointing (i love storms, i know its horrible but I do)
My mother needed a shower and said she would get one and then didn't so I sat around and didn't know and I should've taken mine earlier while she was claiming to get one-- so long story short-- it felt like, to me, that we were pressed for time. and that upset me because being late or almost late causes me to have a lot of anxiety.

I had to try on clothes and that upset me a lot.  A LOT

Atleast we got my prescriptions for meds dropped off today and not monday or tues

My eye exam was at 11am and we got there early and filled out forms and the forms were ridiculous. I've come to the conclusion that they always are. I write way too big for the forms to fit our address and all that nonsense
I picked out eye glasses frames that are almost identical in color and shape to the ones I have now, so I dont have a lot of change going on. which is good. i dont wanna do a drastically different look. i am pretty content with neutral colored frames

At the very end of the exam process my back started to hurt worse than it had ever previously hurt so far as I can remember. I was pretty much crying. It hurt so bad I was nauseated. I felt like I was going to be sick.

My back pain backed off right before we left walmart and the change in painlevel was so drastic that it almost felt euphoric. like the relief was so amazing i felt happy happy about it. and i have no idea why it suddenly got better. I wish i knew so i could reproduce that thing when it hurt so bad heh

we got food on the way home and now we are relaxing

Stan did his best to tolerate my nasty attitude today and I am grateful. when i get anxious and upset about myself I get angry towards everyone and that is something I need to work on because they dont deserve to suffer when i feel bad about myself. that makes me a bad person.f

I'm going to try and eat my lunch now and hopefully be not so horrible.

No comments:

Post a Comment

hello darlin nice to see ya, its been a long tiiiiiiime

So I had my first iron infusion last friday and the chemo/infusion station roomof the cancer center is REALLY CREEPY. like creepy spa day. t...