this week so far

so for most of the weekend and first of the week we had no internet here at the house lololol
we LIVE IN THE WOODSSSSS

ahhhh



on wedensday i had an oral surgeon consultation appointment where we talked and looked over what we were gonna do when we take my teeth out
it was terrifying but apparently... the insurance i have because of stan is very good and i will be able to get implants so i can eat..... later this year.... one thing at a time
gotta get 4 teeth pulled first

ugh

i feel so horrible because i didn't take care of my teeth
and i get mad because i know other people who dont and their teeth arent falling out so its like.... wtf... not fair... it must be genetics i dunno



also on wednesday we went to the last concert my highschool band director is going to direct. he is retiring
or has retired
as of last night
it was amazing and he had the beginning band and middle band and the highschool band all play and then he had people from his past teaching experiences play with the group and it was just amazing

i need to play clarinet more and especially the next few days because after i get my teeth out i dunno how long it will be until i can play again


so next wednesday i am getting my teeth out.


but on next monday i have to see the psychologist
and i dont even know what to expect from that seriously like i've never done this before i've had therapist but not psychologist


i just feel grateful every day that stan is in my life and helping me and im trying to take care of him the best i can

i know you read this and i am sorry for any and alll things that you may have seen or heard or read
but there is nothing i can do about it now, its in the past.

i am trying to be better
a better person
and that's all i can do