the funeral was yesterday and we all cried a lot. but Aunt Pam was very calm and strong and i know she will eventually break down but she is waiting until later... she said she was going to hold it together until she knew her kids were okay.
When we got to Aunt Pams house i walked in and went in the kitchen and i for real thought he would be standing there. and it hit me. and i cried. and it was really embarassing. and cried so much i feellike people think i was faking it but i dont give a rats ass. a lot of shit is going on in my life and i am overwhelmed and this is just too much.
i talked to alot of family and caught up with some people. one of my cousins is getting a divorce (second divorce, from the same person. they got divorced before and them remarried and now they are splitting up again) so much.... going on.
and dad still can't get a job. he has pretty much stopped looking.
we are getting ready for the crawfish boil/stan's birthday party this saturday... mom and i did some house cleaning today.
we still have to clean up the kitchen and finish the livingroom and do the bathrooms. i will do my bathroom on friday. i will sweep the kitchen friday and mom will mop it friday before bed.
we also need to start some cooking of the desserts on friday because there wont be enough time or space to cook everything saturday morning.
i ate too much yesterday and i'm eating a good bit today. i'm not working out today because i did a lot of cleaning that was exhausting. i will workout tomorrow and friday.
and sunday, but there wont be time saturday... plus i dont want to be sweaty and finding time to shower after working out all in the morning would be hectic with everything going on
i havent played pokemon in a few days so i'm going to do that now.
SO my birthday was nothing and that is perfectly fine with me because i dont need a reminder that i'm getting older ok thanks hahahha ...
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