Saturday, April 22, 2017

it was an eventful friday

so on friday they do TRIVIA at the pub/brewery and stan likes to go so i decided i should meet him in town for dinner and we could go to trivia together..
i havent driven that much lately and definitely not in traffic.... and saturday is A day game which means all the peoples comes to tuscaloosa. so traffic was even worse than normal.
SO my mom had this idea that they could drive and take me into town and we could meet up with stan and part ways and do our own things.. so we did that.. mom and dad drove me to town and we browsed around OZ music until stan got off work
then me and stan went to Mr. Chen's for chinese food and mom and dad went somewhere else for dinner..

stan got sesame shrimp and i got chicken fried rice.... it was so good.. so so good
then we went to family dollar and got candy to eat during trivia
.... all these places are pretty much in the same shopping center.. lol so it was nice to not have to drive around

then we went to trivia and it was ....okay i guess.
i felt extremely out of place
people either didnt talk to me or talked to me too much and it made me feel weird
i got to see some friends i hadnt seen since the vodka vomit incident ... i hadnt shown my face since then. and i still feel like i shouldnt have... i felt like it was too much too soon.
and stan invited people to the crawlfish boil on his birthday...its okay to have alex and sagen... but stan invited some other people and... yeah
i wish he had talked to me about it before he asked them because now i have to think about cleaning the house and making things look appropriate and nice because people are coming that i dont really know that well
and the anxiety of having to do all this shit to make things nice for these people and.. yeah... and my mom is going to be weird about the house being clean when she finds out these random people are coming

so i have a high stress april and may coming up trying to clean the house up and the yard... and the fire pit!!! so much shit to do we have all this clutter in the dining room that has to go before the crawlfish boil and yeah... just yeah

... no sign of relief from anxiety at all... no way to make it better.... no medication i have helps.. so i am coping any way i can.
it might not be the best ways but it works for me. i dont have any other way.

and thats that.

i've been playing pokemon x ... i restarted it and i'm glad i did
i'm reading a light drama romance novel to ease my mind ... reading hard core Stephen King while all this shit is going on really drained me emotionally.

so... yeah.. that all thats happened.

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