Wednesday, February 3, 2016

wednesday wed nes day feb 3, 2016

today has been okay but... very exhausting emotionally/mentally
i think i have found.... THE perfect man
stan stayed home from work to take me to indian rivers today to get my medicine so i didnt have to do it alone
and its good that he did because, just like a suspected-- they didnt have it fucking in and right and if he wasnt there i would have probably gotten the crazy people ambulance i'm sure they have on stand by called on my ass

i have yet to have to happen... well there was that one time but that is like a past life and i was drinking on meds and it was all kinds of wrong

i know better now and i am a different person

that being said

my extreme FEELS lately are from the usual stuff and the continued increasing ocd problem  ... and then the medication adjustments that are being made and.. i wont have any idea if any of it works until like.. three weeks from now

so fucking fuck fuckity fuck you know i dont really just... all i can do is sit here and read books and watch netflix and play house and wait to see what the fuck happens


not a very good feeling ya know

but there are a few tiny things to look foreward to.... going to the movies... mawmaws birthday party... chinese food sundays and pizza fridays
i just have to watch what i eat in the week so i can have them on the weekend =X i dont wanna yo yo in my weight.. i need to stay at this weight so my wedding dress alterations will be good when we get one and have it altered
this is very important


i need to go eat my eggs and english muffin and watch tv and i dont know bye

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