Friday, January 15, 2016

okay i need to update its been a while

this week has been... well, its been good to go back to normal after the Puppy rescue shenanagens and the reynolds christmas festivities and.... what not

i have tidy upped a lot of the apartment and i have also started going through my wedding planning stuff and trying to make some decisions on what i want.

i bought a thick vinyl imitation leather placemat type thing and upgraded my fauxdori travelers notebooks thing

i covered my tablet case with adhesive fabric tape today to make it girly instead of neon green

today i looked at hair styles for the wedding and sketched some centerplace piece ideas that i liked...
my fauxdori is easier to take with me on the go so i can put notes about wedding stuff in it while im out and about... i need to go to michaels and hobby lobby and just look at stuff... but i have pretty much got things sorted since i dont want a lot of flowers and and ribbon and what not
the colors i am using are so intense and eye catching that i dont need a lot of stuff... and i dunno i just dont

so in the middle of writing this Stan's little man Hercules had a seizure while he was on his walk outside.. that makes two today. =( i am scared its .. i dont know.. i cant say it. maybe the doctor will know more than we do and can help up

tomorrow we were going to go shopping and such but i dont want to leave him here alone after he's had two seizures in one day
i can feel my heart sinking

i wanted to write a lot about what i've been doing lately -- about my psychiatrist appoint yesterday but i just cant right now i'm too upset.

but the tl;dr on that is
i went to the psych told her all the things i wasnt telling her before and she made me feel bad and then she apologized and we are adjusting my medication. INCREASING my antipsychotic. increasing my medication for anxiety. ADDING another antidepressant that is specified for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. because i have it and ... well-- i think i alway did... but now that my bipolar mood swings are under control the other things that are wrong are becoming glaringly obvious and getting worse

like my eating disorder rules and my ocd tick rule things

but this medication is supposed to help with that

i dunno

i am mentally exhausted beyond belief and i just want to stare at walls and shit

but i am going to color in a coloring book for therapy and journal and i dont know


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