Tuesday, January 5, 2016

i totes need to update this thing

i have been sick since we got back from KY.. or i was now i am okay... and i have been reading like there is no tomorrow
i have read three books since the start of the year... ok well-- half of the first book was read in 2015 but the other two i read in 2016.
reading has become so very necessary for me to destress
if i dont get to read i am on edge and feel like i am ....missing something.. doing something wrong... like.. if i go a day without reading i get this weird anxiety like... i am afraid i will go back to not being able to focus to read like i was a few years ago
it was such a dark time for me
ever since i found out i can read and retain what i'm reading, in fall of last year, i have been going on non-stop and i never want to stop. ever. this is whati want to do.

this and make jewelry

i suppose one day i might try writing some short stories.. i'll certainly have read enough books to get a feel for writing... if i keep this up

i am trying really hard not to gain weight and it is really hard and i dont want to be a fat ass
especially since i have to see people saturday
oh man i gotta figure out what to WEAR

saturday is our (late) reynolds xmas gathering.. but we had it late so we can have Daniel there-- he is a Marine and has been gone for a long time and we want him here so we decided to wait for his time off to have it

we got a chair for me to sit in while i shower so that is awesome and i dont get tired taking a shower anymore
get off me im a weakling lol

stan has been amazing all this time and i just want to say thank you baby, i love you and i am so grateful.

i am so very blessed and lucky
and i still havent learned how to ACCEPT gifts and good things i dont know if i ever will... its.. one of the hardest things.. i dont know how to explain the feeling... of guilt and unworth just...

i dunno whatelse to say right now
i finished A WRINKLE IN TIME last night in the middle of the night and it felt AWESOMEEEE

i started out with my goodreads challenge at 50, changed it to 75... then back to 50..  if i get to it sooner than expected i will up it again if the option is still there.

i really want soup but i really dont need the sodium
i think i might strain the veggie soup and use water instead of the soupy broth??
idk i want it so badddd


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