i cant believe its only thursday

today i am supposed to "take it easy" but that does not exist in my mind no matter what i do so i dunno

i took my newest Rx to walmart and they will have it filled this weekend and i will get to start my new OCD medications and the higher dose of buspar for anxiety

i journaled a lot in my Dali print journal and i feel better... i also cried
i dont know why or how but when i cry its like the heat and pressure leaves my faces and head through the tears... i dont know its... im probably just pathetic but hell if i need to cry to feel better im going to fucking do it- its not hurting anyone

i got yogi stress relief tea with kava which is something i havent tried yet.. and a chamomile tea of higher quality than i've ever had and im double bagging them and now i m going to read or watch netflix and eventually color in my coloring books because i need to do that

my legs are really sore and i guess its because i keep stretching them out a lot when i wake up to get my body feeling flexible and the blood flowing and i think i am over stretching so... it hurts to walk.. all the time everytime i walk


i took stans starwars tissues that i bought him and put them on the bed here--- so sorry hon, i have confiscated your xmas present

i thought we would go out to hear music tonight but i dont know if i can leave te house again
the store was.. it was the worst ive been with the anxiety in a long long time.. everybody who looked at me asked me if i was okay.. god damn it i am fine just let me get my shit so i can go home this is horrible and almost physically painful for me okay thanks

i am goign to stop typing now
for a bit

its 12:30