Wednesday, January 20, 2016

happy hump day yall

its humpdayyyyy which means... i am... cleaning the bathroom-- and i have already done it... it was exhausting and i will probably be sore from scrubbing so much but i dont care feels good man i need the exercise

tonight i am cooking dinner for the first time in weeks and i am excited about it.. i might not eat that much of it but i do want to cook something who knows this might be the last month i have foodstamps to do this

i used the voice recorder stan let me borrow for the first time today... and this was after i had decided to give it back to him lol i'm weird.. but i just recorded myself rambling and talking about shit that was bothering me and i will take it to tara because i have trouble making completely sentences and thoughts come together when i am anxious and there and under pressure to do so but if i have recorded myself when i am not under pressure i can get things out and i hope this becomes a good way for me to communicate with my therapist and psychiatrist because i do not converse well i just... stutter and say the wrong words and its really weird i honestly think i might have some kind of other mental thing going on i just dont know what it is...

i am going to read now.. i finished the last book in the "dark is rising" series last night and it made me so sad because its over and i never wanted to finish it i just kept putting off reading it because its over and its OVER ok.. i dont want it to beeee i love ittt

i guess i will have to indulge in the Madeline L'Engle stuff now... a wrinkle in time has already been read and i have the other books in that set and there are more books that branch off i think about the families ---which is how i first read "an endless circle of light" by chance and got into reading those books... in that series that are kind of related but not.. i think i dont know.. its... i need to look up a flow chart hierarchy family thing for the characters and see how they are connected because i am sure they are. but then you know.. when i finsih all those book i will be even more sad because thats another of my favorite things that is over and booooooooooo
i will have to find something else to be enchanted with.... oh my.. what possibilities

i have so many books to read...
i have started watching netflix again and its cutting into my reading time lol.. no good no good.
okay i am going to shut up now and go read until i need to start cooking dinner- which is a good time from now so i should be able to get a lot of reading done, i hope.

lol jk i cuddled with the dog and took an hour nap. i seem to be taking 1 hour power naps every day now but it works pretty good. i wake up on my own and usually realize it exactly an hour last i checked time

i am getting drowsy again though and i am sad because i dont want to be tired and cooking dinner though it wont be hard to cook i just dont... wanna be all whiney while im doing it

i need to decide what book to read.... i know i'm going to read another Anna Katharine Green novel and this "self help yes you can" book but i surely need to read some of the random paper back books lying around... right?

however right now i think i will add to my positive thought notebook in my fauxdori.. or.. nap... again... maybe... i dunno

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