Wednesday, November 11, 2015

wash the dog wednesday lol yep thats it

today i am giving the mighty hercules a bath =)
he needs it badly and it will make him feel a lot better. i'm also going to condition and comb through his hair... he is a shih-tzu so he gets people hair issues

then i am going to MAYBE go to ALDI-- the new shopping place grocery thing... you have to take your own grocery bags and rent carts but the prices are lower because they arent paying people to go get carts and bag groceries... seems pretty cool imo.
they have apples really cheap ($1.99 for 3lb bag and i eat like two a day if i have them... they are the best thing for keeping my digestive track going smoothly)
 and i was looking at the flyer they sent and apparently they have 100% juice not from concentrate no pulp orange juice for $2.09 .. thats like 80 cents cheaper than walmart and ya best believe that matters to me bitches. --- and thats the one thing that stan asked for so i am exciiiiiitedddd

all the band kids from NHS are reconnecting and its really awesome and making me laugh and yayayayayay

i am moving some of the wall art around and hanging up stan's thing he bought that goes perfectly in the dining room area
i added the heart garland to that wall from near the white cat figurine display because my ocd said there must be two things on each side i think i need to move it down about 4 inches after seeing this photo yes i have to its gonna drive me insane

aaaand now that its 9am and the stores are probably open i am going to go find this magical shopping place called aldi where apparently all your low price hipster dreams come true i dont know its like save-a-lot but closer i am game on i dont wanna drive to northport damnnn ittt thats just too far ya know?

i ate some of my yogurt that i've frozen.. it supposed went bad on the 9th of nov but i think since its frozen itll be good for another week or so

sooo gonna pick out clothes and go and come back and THENNNNN
 WASH THE MIGHTY HERCULES because Stan said i might need to save that for last because it is the most exhausting and he is probably right hahaha

i love stan so much... he is my missing puzzle piece. i cant imagine life without him in it and i dont want to. i just hope everything will be okay with all the changes that are coming up and ... i just feel really... worthless and useless and... i dont know... sigh... maybe i should get stan to ask people if they want to buy christmas presents from me (aka my jewelry)? he is so busy though i dont want to make him think about it... so i wont ask... but he reads this... and now he will think about it.. and i will sit here feeling like a bad person for being annoying when he is so busying and exhausted...

when i sort my jewelry i will take photos of the good stuff and post on my facebook i guess.. that is probably the only way i will get any money for the rest of forever

i want to cry thinking about it.. i am so mad that i didnt sell anything at the festival in fayette this fall.. like.. i didnt like anybody know but it really broke me.. broke my heart.. i feel like everything i've done was for nothing.. like this is ridiculous and i need to just suck it up and try to find a job that will make me miserable and paranoid and drive me insane with anxiety and i dont know.. id ont know.. i hate everything why am i so worthless and useless this is not the life i wanted this is not what i hoped for... this is not fair


okay serious gonna eat good and wash dog 
dog is cleaaaaaaannn and i am full of energy
i just cooked chicken for dinner and bread and heated up peas and now i am gonna go to the storeeeeeeee again i have too much energy and when i come back i will probably get on the bike because i have been meaning to do that for two days and i havent gotten to it and i need to and it will tire me out
thats me
ffff i posted this and blogger did some weird shit cause i did an arrow with the little ...sign thing i dk whatever

i went to sleep without getting on the bike.. at like.. 9pm.. and woke up at 11... or 12.. the internet was acting weird and I tried to help stan fix it.. but turns out it was just a hiccup in service, or a device issue.. not router issue. i think pretty sure yeah anyways.... 
we ended up sitting here crunching numbers on the prices between dollar tree, walmart and ALDI.... and i have a list of things that MOST DEFINITELY CHEAPER TO GET AT ALDI like, without a doubt cheaper. a LOT cheaper. so that is where i will be getting things like--- orange juice, milk, canned corn and green beans and peas, saltine crackers, tapioca is cheaper there too. and apples are cheaper definitely... Stan is going to go with me and we are going to assess the meat prices-- i am not good with the cuts of meat and quality and pricing.. that is one thing i do not know much about.

this gives me THREE places to go when i go shopping so that is AWESOME it helps me get out of the house more and expands me "Safe places" list lol #anxietyprobs
and it gives me more stuff to do.. cause i need to stay busy
i am going to be okay when i stay decorating for xmas and get these cards done to give out with the saves the dates

i should try to go back to sleep now... my sleep schedule has me getting up at 6:45 am or so... which is fine cause i sleep so early.... and usually wake up like this and sleep more.. whatever works ... i feel good right now and i want to keep it this way for as long as possible 

work is driving stan insane and there is nothing i can do about it and it makes me feel very helpless and i dont know what to do.. and... i just.. i dont know... i am trying so very hard not to let it get to me too much but.. i just... cant not let it bother me.  im not asking for him to make himself more pleasant as a front and fake it.. i want things to get better at work so he will FEEL better .. not fake acting like it okay just for me.. that hurts the most.. 

ok shutting down now 

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