Tuesday, July 28, 2015

some people think its weird that i keep a scrapbook detailing EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE

but what you dont realize is that a lot of my memories? dont fit-- theres a lot missing
and im young. but because of mental illness and other things i did to myself all these years-- my memory is almost non existent.

so i keep a daily scrapbook of... what i do, things i want to do what happened... i keep the receipts from everything i buy and and lists i make for shopping or reminders i tape into this notebook.

i use composition notebooks now--- each day gets a page ... and the back the the day before is where i post the receipts for the current day.

i decorate it with washi tape and decorative tape and stickers
its a scrapbook
or what i think they someone called it when they kind of patented something of this nature-- "a smashbook"
i dont know
its an ongoing collage and journal and memory keeping thing

i started out using pieces of paper and three prong folders
but its so unstable in stature
having a composition note book is good beacause i can put a rubber band around it and its safe

and in a few years... or hell-- with my luck, maybe as soon as next year--- when i cant remember something or want to be nostalgic and reminisce i have all these daily logs of my life and stans life
on top of this i have my blog here.
AND i have a journal that i write in every few days-- like full paragraphs and fledged out stories that i want to remember... thoughts and feelings... the leather bound paper journal i keep is very very intimate.. .its me talking to myself, pretty much. and that is going to be so wonderful when i am old and gray and want to look back and how amazing my life was with stan. <3 p="">
stan has been amazing to me lately.
i feel bad but i dont think he knew all along how much noise was bothering me on a daily basis.
i feel so relaxed right now.. i havent had shrill dialogue and music of random tv shows polluting the air every second of every day.

this doesnt mean i dont want to watch stuff with stan-- i do. i just need to be actually watching it...
if im reading or craftings or something and its playing something random in the back ground i start off ok-- but then i feel this level of irritation start to rise.. and rise and rise and eventually i have to get up and leave or i dont know... something...

anyways i have to go now.. i just wanted to talk

i plan to post on facebook and tell everyone how amazing stan is. people need to know. he is the best things in the entire world. i love him so much

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