Wednesday, July 29, 2015

A little....semi - feminist rambling blog post of some sort

The reason I like chic dramatic comedies like legally blonde... I've been on both ends of the spectrum as a woman. I've been the ugly plain bookish girl that no body pays attentions to except in academics.

And I've been on the other end.. I've been a hot blonde girl that gets attention but when it comes to serious things i got coddled and treated like I don't know a damn thing and should just go play with my make up.

What sucks is that it didn't matter which way you go... The worlds is gonna shit on you.

When people think of a feminist I'm not what they usually think off.. Because I have been and tried all the ways I could be
And I have chosen a traditional female role.... And while i would love to be on my own and Independent as hell... I lack the skills to do it... Not because I'm a woman.. But because of mental illness.
And yeah i know most people associate mental illness with the feminine side of being.that's not accurate. That's just another lie the male ruled world has told every one for so long that its understood without being said. .and I've chosen the traditional girly mom house wife role.. Because its the best option for me to have a productive safe life full of joy and content feelings.

If I tried to support myself and do that independent woman thing... I would end up in a group home for poor/almost homeless people working a shit job that causes me more mental and emotional harm (due to anxiety and paranoia and mentalillness shit) than it does good for money sake.

This is the reasonable and logical choice.

Do I hate the fact that it negates all the progress we have fought for? Yes.
But for my personal well being it's the right thing for me.

So I choose to rely on a man. And because i am so incredibly lucky.... He is the best man. A wonderful man. And he is one of the few good men in the world that make this surrender tolerable and likeable and nurturing.

I'm not quite sure this is the blog post I wanted to make when I started. I might delete it later. But its how I feel.

I'm one of the lucky ones, to have find a good man. So very lucky.

Love you so much, Stan. <3

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