Monday, May 11, 2015

hello internetland long time no posty

i have been so full of IRL happenings that i havent really been arsed to update my blog
but i think that is going to change here soon

i am having trouble sleeping again and i am being really paranoid about stan being mad at me because he is quiet and ignoring me a lot but i know he just needs to destress i am being paranoid damn it its hard having the with mild schizophrenia issues along with bipolar just makes things so much more hard to manage

soooo i dont even know where to begin

i'm still doing the #listersgottalist challenge
tomorrow is day 12
the girl who started the thing has liked my instagram pics TWICE
so i feel ~*SPECIAL*~
idek lol

i am going to make some custom paper clips soon and i might sell them if they are awesome and people want them
the #plannercommunity on IG is really into handmade shiznits
oh my goddd i just added a felt owl to the top of a paper clip i am sold never using normal paperclips agaaaainnnn

uh anyways

this past weekend my parents had this crawfish boil thing at their house and not enough people showed up so there was much left over i felt bad
they shouldve invited more people tbh i mean how many nasty little sandlobster shrimp thingys can one person eat before getting sick

i know how many i could eat and thats zero so thats what i did lol
the potatoes in the boil were DELICIOUS though and i ate like four of them.. they were those round small red potatoes i think. or russet not sure
i drank alcohol two weekends in a row and i can already tell a different in the affectiveness of my medication
furthermore i didnt really enjoy the drinking
so i dont think i will be doing that again for a very long time
maybe wedding stuff i guess

Stan got to see my brother is all his Red headed temper tantrum Leo fire sign ginger glory and Gordon is lucky Stan didn't smack him for the way he was talking my mom and dad
his anger and rage is why i had to get the hell out of there
the thought him getting a job would help him learn to control it but no-- he just saves it ALL UP AND WAITS UNTIL HE GETS HOME AND BLASTS EVERYONE THERE WITH SUPER ANGER NEGA-VIBES

needless to say i wont be around much if he keeps it up
i cant physically STAND it... it makes me sick to my stomach
something is seriously wrong with the boy
just like there was something wrong with me
until he owns up to it and gets it handled he is a ticking time bomb waiting to go off in a psychotic rage

i dont want to be there when it happens
however, once he realizes how serious his problem is -- i will more than gladly be there for him to talk to about how to handle life and the feels its tough and mom isnt gonna be able to mentor him in the ways of crazy person land



today i was going to run errands and get my food stamp acceptance letter copied off so i can get my sliding fee payment at indian rivers scaled back to $2 a visit but my car wouldn't start which is no big surprise
the surprise is that we didnt remember it would do this after a few days of not being driven so that is our own dumb ass fault lol

so i sat at home and watched HOUSE-- trying to make it last because i dont want to get to the end... though house IS good enough to watch more than once so i will probably do that lol
because its the best thing right now
Greys Anatomy is getting sad and feely (keep in mind i am not up to current season, i am watching from beginning on netflix and i am at season 7 currently... like episode 20 something i think)

i miss Desperate Housewives... i hope they put it back on... i need it in my life it would help me with my own bored housewife syndrome lololol

Stan got a Kindle Fire and i am excited for him--- though i wish he had gotten a Chromebook because its so very useful for work stuff but oh well. he reads a lot so i bet he will get some books and stuff and make it his happy place

oh yeah-- anyways, when stan got home he jumped my car off and i went to dollartree and i FORGOT MY PHONE
so if i my battery died again i had NO WAY OF CALLING HIM
lolol but he is MY HEROOOO and saw my phone here and found me and brought it to meeee
he saved the dayyyy
because when i went outside-- SURE ENOUGH, my car wouldnt start

yeah thats... just about how my luck goes haha


stan ignored me most of the evening and i guess he has friend to talk to online or something
i wish i had a friend =(
i dont want to annoy Jo but she is my only friend =(
i could try to sleep but im not sleepy and i am tired of laying in bed

i feel like a pathetic loser for forgetting to make muffins this morning.... i told stan i would make muffins and then i didnt do it. wwwttttffff
im so horrible why does he even have me here i dont even knowwww

so now i have a note here for the morning that says: "MAKE SANDWICH FOR LUNCHBOX AND MAKE MUFFINS"


i think im gonna start collecting quotes in a journal again
from books i mean, i books i love... that always kept me pretty FOCUSED in college and shortly there after
so now i am going to start this new project on top of my planner project which is still awesome
i mean, the planner is set up so now i just get to use it until i need to make more stuff for it when the weekly view runs out or something

so that and the listers challenge and... oh yeah
when i DO go to the food stamp office i am going to go by michaels craft store and get some MOON WINK charms for the Druid City Brewing Company to make earrings to sell them for monies
so excited this is my new business deal project alllll rightyyy
i was going to do it before but the festival was coming and i didnt know how much i needed to prepare (turns out i had too much stuff to sell and couldve taken time to do this sooner but ooopsie)

ok i stop typing now

was fun to type havent typed on a keyboard in a long time it feels like

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