Tuesday, March 3, 2015

my insomnia is a dangerous thing

its a trigger for psychotic mania in which i do things that i would never do, if i were on medication and myself, things i hate myself after.

and i think one symptom is trying to resurface faster than i had expected -- i know it is my worst and the THE worst probably and i dont want it to happen but it is fucking creeping up on me...


and i'm not talking about the paranoid thing


this is something for more vile

i have to nip this.

im calling IR and and getting my latuda-- i might as well stay around and triage for a emergency therapist. and set up further sessions. it was on my new years resolutions list anyways. it was prehaps the only thing.








i need to also step back and realize how far i have come from the person i once was-- to be able to catch this and be accountable for my illness.

they may make a lady out of me yet!

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