that pretty much sums up how i feel right now
i am excited and scared and want it to all be over so i can stop thinking about every little thing that might go wrong and happen and i cant stop thinking about every little thing that might happen its driving me insane
also i have gained weight and its driving me insane because i barely recognize myself when i look in the mirror now and i cant stand it its like... i am not even me i am some monster that has taken over or the monster has taken over my body outside and i dont know this is the weirdest feeling like i am not myself why is this happening where am i this is not me at all i dont look like this i havent looked like this in 10 years... 11 years.. 11 years its been eleven years what the hell what
i cant do this
i am having a break down inside its silent i cant freak out outside i am freaking out inside my head i am paralyzed
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand now i tried to eat and it wouldnt go down and now i lost my dinner and i dont even care and im going to take my meds and pass out
and we are watching the movie "saw" because i wanted to watch something horrible
so my new anti depressant medicine is at a low dose and i am trying to hold on.... i see the psychiatrist next tuesday and the therapist als...
halfway done with my book for therapy! look at my baby girl! she's a princess (and she sheds reallllllllly bad) this is my...
I have finally gotten all the Christmas cards we plan to send ready. Now I gotta get to post office. They will probably be late but I tried ...
so the weekend get away was great. we gave decided to do that more often. it was really good for us. mentally and emotionally and as a coupl...