all thanks to one of my college friends who is lovely and awesome and i love her. she bought two things and the money cleared today so i can go get the stuff i need for some of my more original looking pieces...
i can make standard earrings all day
but i want to make some asymmetrical designs for necklaces. i know its popular right now, and having an eye for making it is going to be a plus... and i want to establish myself as a designer god damn it.. not someone copying shit. even though i know someone has probably already done the stuff i plan to do-- i mean, pinterest is my inspiration here. but i always wanna try something slightly different. if i can.
plus having unique pieces to put on the neck bust displays at the festival is pretty important and eye catching.
i wish i could make sun catchers to sell but i dont have the time to dedicate to them... i would need the toaster over and my dads's drill and lots of translucent pony beads and cookie cutters in random awesome shapes and... yeah. plus the fumes from the beads melting are probably toxic. and theres no ventilation here... so...god knows i need to save as many brain cells as i can.
Stan is being so supportive and understanding with my whole.. "in the zone" designer thing. when i get a project going its everything i think about. what surprised me was he had the most kind and calming way of telling me i was obsessing too much that didnt piss me off because... well.. i get bitchy when im this way too. he is the most amazing man. he understands my weaknesses emotionally and in personality and we work around it... and he doesnt hold it against me... its just the bipolar shit rearing its ugly head in ways... if he would read "Madness" like i asked him to a LOT OF THE THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED RECENTLY.. including the knife incident... would make more sense.. or atleast. have some tangible.. i dont know... Marya shares her experience with mental illness to the world in ways that make it easier for people like me to go "here, this, this woman explains it with words and stories of her life that i cannot muster up the nerve or words to say myself"
but he is really busy. like, REALLY REALLY busy with work, which is why i havent bothered him about the book again recently--- even though when i had my incident it was one of the things i thought of that was like "if only he had read this" because i ... cant expect someone who isnt me or like me to understand why i do the things i do... unless there is some kind of metaphor explaination given... and maybe Marya does that. I think she does a good job or relating to normal people when she wrote her books anyways.
i have a lot of energy this morning.
need to get my daily journal log started then see stan off to work--- walk the dog, wash my hair, then go to the store for supplies.
but before that i have to pick out the beads that i want to match stuff to so i can make shit. yeahhhh... and take them with me... yeah.. so much easier to match colors that way. so many of the spring colors are just various shades of the general pink or blue and unless you have it with you theres no way to make sure its a decent match for sure.
lots of stuff going on
probably only doing one festival this year and its in alabama but i need to get local clients interested in me. i need a clients. i need to get my foot in the door here. stan is the only reason i will be able to do this, and i thank him. everychance i get... so thank you hon when you read this thank you again
gotta go get ready now or something bye
SO my birthday was nothing and that is perfectly fine with me because i dont need a reminder that i'm getting older ok thanks hahahha ...
halfway done with my book for therapy! look at my baby girl! she's a princess (and she sheds reallllllllly bad) this is my...
My only news to report is that the major clinical depression struggle is very real and very kicking my ass lately. I am making due with v...
My wonderful husband has done so much for me lately. He got my car fixed. He bought replacement controllers for the Nintendo switch because ...