Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Wed nes hump dayyy
my not sleeping through the night is starting to bother Stan and that makes me very very worried because i am bipolar and sleeping through the night is probably not gonna happen unless they over medicate me ok and thats not gonna happen i refuse to take that shit
Tuesday my parents surprised me by coming to see me but I wasnt expecting it-- obviously-- but we managed to have a wonderful time. Food, browsing the thrift stores and what not. I was telling Stan just the other day about how... "dont care what your parents think, love who you want to love thing" didnt work for me deep inside because ... i really do want my parents to enjoy and have a relationship with whomever i end up with--because we become a family.. and so... i realized that the people i had tried to settle down with in the past would have never been ok... i would have always felt like something was wrong... because no one before Stan really clicked with my parents. and i mean, i wouldnt care what my parents think if they were overbearing or controlling-- but they arent. they and happy people and want me to be happy and we always get along pretty good and i needed someone who continued that feeling instead of making me feel separated from them.
i am back to using Evernote to sync between computer and android phone device and i think this will help my ability to concentrate one tasks that i need to get done--- i can set reminders and alarms with details about stuff that isnt possible with the simple alarm clock thing i have for my other (medication) alarms
got a good start this morning,
i have jewelry orders to make so thats fun
one of the interns at the radio station is in a sorority and.... well sorority girls have money and like custom shit with their colors and and what not so this works well for me. and its some stuff i like making so far--- braided bracelets in three colors
KIND of scared i might end up with a bulk order for... say.. a piece that is identical and there like 50 of them and its gift thats given to everybody at once or something at a function or what not... i know these things happen.. -- this is a smaller house though so i might be able to handle it
i WILL handle it. i ASKED the the higher powers to TRIPLE MY SALES when i last did a prosperity/abundance thing (bloodmoon lunar eclipse event). i was very specific. so i kind of stuck my foot in my mouth i think hahaha. we SHALL SEE.
this is probably gonna be my spell work making bank manifesting
ok well that is not a probably its a definitely
make a bracelet fell asleep and feel sick
my head hurts so baddd
i swear just as soon as i get to feeling better something messes it up again
stan is doing that whole worrying and taking care of me thing and it makes me feel weird
i dont deserve it at all and i dont like it
i cant make my head stop hurting
i dont know what to do
its not a migraine hurt
but its annoying as hell and makes me want to sleep
i feel badddd stan is too nice too me i dont deserve it why am i here i dont know i feel worthless =(
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