Wednesday, October 22, 2014

another day full of pain and misery

i was okay until i stepped outside

ever since then its just been varyinng degrees of pain in my head.. the forehead, eye sockets, behind my ears. the brow area... just pressure and pain... sometimes constant. sometimes throbbing.

i am going to take more of this generic DayQuil stuff or what the fuck every it is. i cant type hardly i i cant really focus on the screen and make my hand do the right thing at the tsame time
i have had to go back ad retype everything and now i am giving up and jut letting it go however it comes out

i am trying to eat something rrigth now but i think i am going to just close my eyes andlay here insread

i had so many projects i wants to do

i almost finished one of thembut i didnt becauses stan needed to cometo bed and i thought that was more imporant

the people (mostly kids actually) in our apartment complex buidng are fighting every day it seems like

i hate it and it makes me very sad

i posted this made tater tots and passed out before eating them wow...

or something

now stan is home and i am watching Marie Antoinette

 and eating cold tater tots

and now...
i am laying here in pain waiting for sleep to come and take it awaaaaayy

stan bought me sinus congestion pills so i have something to take every morning to hopefully stop this from happening every time i go outside or do anything

i am so tired of taking pills


i just realized that because of mental illness and such--- will take pills everyday until i die. every single day.
its like diabetes -- you dont get to take a day off from it.

i fucking hate it

i want to have a vacation from ME

i need to just embrace this all and go with it.. fighting it is going to make me have bad feels all the time

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