Friday, September 26, 2014

TGIF --- and its Jennaration's grand opening day

which i will be attending

so i have to get my ass in the shower ASAP LOL

ok i had a panic attack or two and went to Jennas shop an hour or so late.. he said there were like... 40 people there waiting at 10 am to get in

i talked to her for a bit but it was really calm and i missed the fun so.. boo

she was glad to see me though

i am gonna send her pictures of stuff i make and she will yay or nay on it and that will be that

i went to grocery store and got some new calimg and relaxing tea and
i came home and now i am crashing and can barely type

aaaand i passed out and woke up choking on stomach acid yaaaaaaay GERD and acid reflux
wooo hoo

so much damn hate


ok now stan is home and i am going to make soup and watch lost girl and idk

i had a brief hypo manic fit of some sort (which was fun for a bit, i got to jump up and down and dance and make some noise and giggle and hoot and holler and what not) well, that that ended in me throwing things around the bedroom (just pillows and blankets on the bed haphazardly.. but theres a fine line there i walk) kinda sorta when i realized i had misplaced something really important. AGAIN... ... i completely LOST my medicine case for today. like its. GONE.
my meds for tonight.. i have to skip because i cant find it... and tomorrow we are going to go try and find a new pill case with morning noon and night slots cause this one.. well, the letters are coming off and i cant tell what day is what.. and its bothering me

but since i misplace these kinds of things EVER FIVE MINUTES ALL DAY EVERY DAY
(i wish i were joking.. its really bad... my memory is... i dont have a short term memory. i have to write everything makes me really sad. and it makes me really MAD and it makes me want to break things when i lose stuff over and over and over and over again in the SAME FUCKIN DAY)

its like why even get out of fucking bed im just gonna fuck up

i need real meds and real doctors and i dont know

its not gonna happen
i just dont ever see it happening for me
it would be too good a thing and i cant have that now, can i?

have i mentioned that i am seeing stuff more often now... like... shadowy figures... i keep thinking theres a presence in the room and it scares me.. or i will see something and look again and its not there
i have gotten to where i just dont pay attention cause i know its not there but sometimes it still catches me off guard

the veil between the worlds is getting thinner the closer we get to Samhain

my health is pretty shitty lately
for lots of reasons that i dont even want to talk about

ok i think i am falling asleep now yayaya goodnight

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