Monday, September 22, 2014
not a normal monday
so last night i was scared because i had blood in my stool
and i really wish i shouldnt have said anything about it
because Stan has enough to worry about with his mom and his job and just... i am not the things he needs to focus on at all.
further more.... last night i get what can only be described as a case of what i suppose they call "Vertigo" and it was still here this morning for a while... it took a while to go away after i woke up . i dont know... maybe fluid in my ears?
i did clean out my ears last night and there was a lot of fluidy melty wax... but i was already dizzy and falling everywhere before that. so ... idk.. maybe cleaning helped cause im ok now-- even though i did everything they say not to... with the q-tip in the ear way far and yeah... its dangerous. oh well it felt good and it relieved pressure somehow?? idk
I FOUND A PUPPY CAN I KEEEPS IT PLEEEEEASEEEE lol jk we have too many pets
we heard a dog barking all night and thought it was the people who live behind us cause they have a shih-tzu and... turns out. there was a lost puppy hiding along the fence between out apartment parking/drinking area and the lot next door that is currently under major construction...
he was barking and crying all night and not a sing soul went out there apparently??
so around 8am i got dressed and went out there to look... and he wouldnt come to me right away. he was so scared... he was barking at me a little bit... but in that spunky puppy way--- he wasnt being mean at all... he came up and sniffed my hand and ran away and laid in the dirt/leaves... then he came back again like he knew he wanted me to get him but he was scared. i dont know...
so i went inside and got some wet dog food and put it in a bowl and set it near him.. and he went right for it.. he was STARVING
no food aggression i had my hand on the bowl the entire time... i slid the bowl closer to me while he was eating and he came with it and i was able to pick him up and bring him inside...
he is so beautiful... so precious... omg i want to keep him so bad but i know i cant
he is too sweet and clean and healthy to have been a stray... he is somebodys baby and he is lost...
he appears to be a full blooded yellow lab
he is so clingy and needy and so not ready to be away from his mom i dont know.. he is just very very scared and wants to burrow in my bosom and crotch and hide when anybody comes near while im holding him.. like he wants to cover his head/eyes with anything he can... like he is scared
i think he had been at the construction site area for two night because he seems to be very traumatized by loud noises. very skittish
its pretty spectacular..
just like when i was in need to something to keep me from self destructing in 2007... when Aiden showed up as a stray kitten at our house magically and its like... he was meant for me... focusing on taking care of him made me take care of myself so i could take care of him
and now this little angel shows up
if the universe keeps sending me angels in the form of pets everytime i am about to have a mental psychotic breakdown or whatever... i am going to need a farm to have them all =3 which is .... pretty awesome idea imo lol BRING IT ON
ok i am passing the fuck out now i hope i can get some sleep before the puppy wake up for food and water and potty time ... then i will have to do all that and tire him out playing so he will sleep more so i can sleep more =X
oh yeah, and stan wants to call him "mr puddles" for now cause he keeps peeing hahahha
also GAME OF THRONES so much going on and idk i have been sick and distracted by stuff and not really feeling like updating here. ...
halfway done with my book for therapy! look at my baby girl! she's a princess (and she sheds reallllllllly bad) this is my...
My only news to report is that the major clinical depression struggle is very real and very kicking my ass lately. I am making due with v...
My wonderful husband has done so much for me lately. He got my car fixed. He bought replacement controllers for the Nintendo switch because ...