woooooooo eating chinese and watching lost girl allll dayyyy
i havent updated much today... we got up and decided to go get the pets food and get some chinese and come back and eat it and watch LostGirl..
after one episode we took a break and i managed to make a mess of things and now i am in the office for alone time and thats ok atleast its quiet in here
i have trouble focusing when theres tv playing in the background... and when its something i dont know and its loud and or obnoxious or... i dont know. i really do that a phobia of sounds.. its pretty traumatizing..
I want to go back to therapy and i want stan to go with me. so he can be my emergency contact and also be talk to the woman and they can get the structure sorted out for what he needs to do when i am too loopy to take care of myself.. because trust me... its gonna happen. its already kind of happened..
and he cant stay home from work all the time... to watch me and make sure i dont do anything to hurt myself when i have this weird psychotic depression or something... i dont know..
we can have a couples session to sort and then they can figure it out... i dont know.. i am just really scared because i miss Lisa and i want her so badly to be there and i dont know if i can handle going there without her but ...its becoming more obvious that... my ability to handle NOT going there at all and stopping therapy is.... non existent.
i am gonna go to bed now
my head hurts and i feel weird
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