OMFGITSTABITHA.COM

IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF "THINGS JO SAYS"

YES I AM AMUSED BY MY INSANE IDEAS, SO STFU, THIS IS MY BLOG.

Um, click read more if you really have any interest in this, haha.

just black sharpie

no explanation needed.

It's going to be awkard, you are forewarned...

OH MY GOD I AM AS HUGE AS A WHALE
It's no wonder he doesn't ever talk to me..... who WOULD? I'm as big as a house.

OH GREAT THE AUDIO SUCKS.
Well atleast I will know what needs to be worked on for the next one. Blah.
edit: i wonder why the audio randomly gets out of sync half way through... hmmm. =/

HMMM. I decided to type out (to the best of my ability) what i was saying in the vlog.
so you can click the "continue reading" link to see a transcript of sorts.

What you do is find a book that is old and useless, pick out the words, and make poetry.
It's quite fun. You all should try it. =)

Nothing to really say about this one.
It's just... blaaah.

Just used the usual various colored Sharpie markers.
I'm letting this one show in the news category, since it's the first thing I've scanned and posted in a while. There are even more over in the MISC DOODLES Cat.

When I finally get around to doing it.
Which might be tonight.
So look for the first one tonight. It will probably just be my cat being adorable though. =P

http://www.sitemeter.com/?a=stats&s=s33omfgitstabithadotcom&v=4&r=9&vlr=89&pg=1&d=825

good show, A+

• Rascal Flatts - "Stand"

You feel like a candle in a hurricane

Just like a picture with a broken frame

Alone and helpless

Like you've lost your fight

But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

Link to lyrics (external link)

You said: "I remember how we felt sittin' by the water,

And every time I look at you, it's like the first time..."

Link to lyrics (external link)

I am not longer allowed at my grandparents house in Fayette. Nor do I want to be there. I had no idea there were so racist. Many, many of my good friends have been black. (Nicole- who was my bestest friend since 3rd grade, Martin- who i owe so much to after he pulled me out of my depression in spring 2007, JJ- who was always there for me even when the rest of the world turned their backs) and not to mention that I know so very amazing black people (shout out to many of KKPsi brothers and a lot of the Sound of the South members) such as Curtis and Foo and hell, I can't even being to name everybody.

It really, really pissed me off that my grandparents acted the way they did. I understand they are from an older generation, but for them to straight up tell me that I am not allowed to be around a friend just because of their race is not something I will tolerate.

Fayette is a small town full of gossiping old biddies, and apparently my grandparents don't want their "reputation slandered" because their granddaughter might be seen socializing with a friend who is black.

I'm not sure when I will speak to my grandparents on my mother's side again.

So now, instead of being in Fayette where I could go to the library, or BSCC and hang out in the bear's den and watch all the people play pool and ping pong (and I even kind of wanted to try playing myself, but I never got the chance because I was "ordered to return home immediately") I am at my parents house, 30 miles from any sort of civilization. No car, no money, and no friends. The only friends I have are in Fayette, and I know Lesley is really busy (especially since she works AND she has herself a man, now. <3 )

So here's my new plan:
1. wake up around 7 or 8 am. Have my huge glass of coffee, wash some dishes, make my bed, take my vitamins.
2. Do a little house work
3. Go walking for a very long time. (today I went walking for the first time and walked 4.2 miles. from my house, down Walter Shirley road all the way to Hwy 43, and then back) I plan to walk a little further every day. Eventually I might try to jog if my knees will let me.
4. Eat a very small lunch.
5. Do something creative in the afternoon. Art journal, write some poetry, play clarinet or piano.
6. Have a very small dinner.
7. Wash the dishes and clean the kitchen again.
8. Watch TV until I fall asleep.
And repeat repeat repeat.

My hope is to lose a good bit of weight before it's time for me to leave my parents house.
I can't and won't go into detail about that, but I will be getting the hell out of dodge, so to speak. It won't be for a while though. Probably 2 or 3 months. Maybe even longer. Who knows. But it will happen. I am expecting it to take a long time before I can leave because then if it happens sooner than I planned, that's a nice little surprise and will be very exciting and pleasant, you know? =)

I would attempt to get a job, but I have no car. And no money for gas. I owe my brother and parents and grandparents probably near $100 or even more. I will pay them back someday when I have the means to.
Until then I am at home, and I will attempt to take up as little space as possible, and eat as little of their food as possible. I'm already a burden as it is. I don't deserve to be here, I should be on the street in the first place.

I want to lose around 20 pounds (more if I can manage it), which is how much weight I gained while I was married. I need to do something to make myself feel fresh, free, and new. A new life. And since making new friends (which is what I was trying to do) is not an option.... So I'm gonna lose weight and see if that makes me feel better, I guess. The exercising can't hurt, at least. Whether I actually lose weight from exercising or not, atleast I should be in better physical condition when it's all said and done.

So here I am. I already walked a fuck ton, I just ate my lunch, I swept up some of the larger dustbunnies (we have three cats and a dog inside, so we get the massive balls of shedding hair lmao), my clothes are in the dryer, I put all my clothes I had packed away.
now I am going to probably write a little bit, do some art journaling. if I get the urge to do something musical I will play clarinet.

OH good news guys-- Dennis got the papers in the mail today that he needs to sign for the divorce. I think there are more things to be signed, this is only the initial part of it, but I am glad he got them. I fear stuff getting lost in the mail. haha.
So he will send them back tomorrow I guess, and then my lawyer will get in touch with me and we will see what happens next (as I have no idea how all this is supposed to go)
Mom is going to take Dennis's stuff to the post office and mail it to him tomorrow. Just some clothes and a book and DVD and some games that I accidentally ended up with. I can't find one of them, though. I looked everywhere. I dunno what happened to it. =( I hope he doesn't get too mad.

My head is starting to hurt really bad so I'm gonna stop starting at this screen and see if I can make it stop hurting. I've been getting really, REALLY bad headaches lately. I think it's allergies or sinus related. So I'm letting my mom tell me what to take for it-- since she has always had really really bad sinus/allergy problems. I think she will know what to do. =)

That's all for now. Maybe I can draw something and scan it and show you guys sometime this week. I haven't scanned and posted any doodle in a long time.

I hope everyone is having a good day, and has a good week.

I am going to be a big girl and make it through this whole "housebound" thing. Some how.
=)