Sunday, February 18, 2018

SUNDAYYYY (its actually very not sunny today teehee)

OK SO
we were going to go see the "Black Panther" movie but the theatre was so so so so packed!
there was a line out into the street!!! at lunch on a sunday!
We are going to go another day and see it for sure, but it was kind of a big bummer that we couldn't see it today. we'd be in line waiting for ever. and to be honest i dont really like it when the theatre is so full of people, it makes me nervous and idk.. anyway

so this week we are trying something different.. and going to the normal health stuff faculty and staff clinic (i can go there because of marriage insurance etc etc)
and see if they can refer me to the associated psych clinic and get me flagged as "urgent" or something???
because this shit is bananas. lolol


like i had an anxiety attack at lunch today ... and i have no idea what triggered it.
like.. usually i have some kind of idea but nope. no. nothing this time.
it makes me scared because Stan is my rock. he is my safe place when i go out in public and if .... if that safe feeling goes away i dont... know what i will do.
i dont think its anything stan has done. i'm positive its not. he is more caring and helpful than ever when it comes to my problems. i am so blessed.
but maybe something is getting worse?
i could make a list of things that are making me anxious-- like stuff thats going to happen.
and then stuff that i get anxious about as the day goes on
and maybe try and see if theres something new or different???
i dont know... that would only work if i had something from past  feels to compare the current list to. haha

i hope to get an eye exam soon. my vision is getting worse and worse... i am noticing it getting worse which is weird and new because i never did before.. but i guess thats what happens when you get old. LMAO

i need to go back to the dentist and get these two cavities taken care of but soooooo much is going on i have no idea when we can do anything... it sucks...and we dont have money to do it all at once.. evem though we really really need to.
i wish a magical fairy god parent would appear and give us money so we could get the things done that we need to do. like nothing frivolous but... actual THIS NEEDS TO BE DONE THINGS.
but everybody wishes that, dont they? lol ahhh... oh well😉😉😉


ok.. whatever. lol

stan is sleeping right now and i hope he is able to sleep tonight because... he works tomorrow and i'm afraid he might end up staying up all night because he slept all afternoon and evening.

i gotta goooo.... i am gonna try to update this blog and my instagram more often
maybe doing that will cheer me up!!!!! (lol fat chance haha)

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all i can say at this point is thank god for prozac

the psychiatrist has agreed to put me back on the 60 mgs of prozac i was on when i started seeing him and that has been able to pull me out ...