Monday, December 11, 2017

first blog entry of december

so um, yeah. life has been pretty uneventful.
i went to the dentist-- they got me into surgery the very next morning.
they put me to sleep and i woke up and three teeth were gone.
the pain went away and came back yesterday morning. but it seems to have went away again.

stan and i are doing ok. not much is going on (that i can talk about, its private and its nothing bad. its actually good stuff. but again-- not something i can talk about here)

i am procrastinating on doing the christmas cards. i need to do that asap. just getting a list of who i am going to be making them to would be a start but its mostly stans family and my friends and thats it so... idk... i guess i could get mine done and if stan doesnt get on the ball about giving me names and addresses those people just wont get anything from us.
we need to get his mother's stuff packaged up and mailed to Kentucky. and any other gifts.
his dad and step mother might come down here so that would save us from having to mail their stuff up there, because i think the thing we are getting them is going to be pretty heavy and expensive to mail.

i need to find a way to get the money to mail Alaina and Jo's xmas packages.

I went to see my cousin April and we watched Gone with the Wind and she tried to teach me to crochet but i didn't make it very far. i am still doing single chain of shit. like, i got to the second row but i pulled everything so tight i couldn't get back through to do it. idk what the techincal terms for any of this is.

the new StarWars movie comes out this friday and stan and i are going on saturday to see it.
we have to go to the reynolds christmas on sunday--stan and i arent playing dirty santa so i dont have to worry about that. it has always made me really uncomfortable because everybody is looking at you when you get your turn and again if you have to take somebodys gift because yours got taken from you.
it just really makes me have bad feelings. i have NEVER like it. and i am really glad that stan is agreeing that we dont have to do it.

i need to try and not gain anymore weight between now and sunday
i also need to figure out what kind of meal plan i should put together to lose between 5-10 lbs by january 27.

we need to renew my domain name for another year.
and work on my kami-con cosplay.

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I totally wrote this days ago. And thought I lost it but blogger saved it.
And I'm posting it days late but at least I'm posting.

Tomorrow is Friday and I can't eat pizza. I will survive. I'm too fat and don't deserve it. Plus on Saturday we are having a date day and I have to eat out somewhere. And that is going to make me gain another 5 lbs.
We are seeing the starwars movie Saturday. And shopping.
I have to find clothes that fit my fat ass. If I can't find anything I might refuse to go. Stan can go alone. I can't handle this fat ass being see in public. I want to kill myself right now. Not even joking. Not joking.

Sunday is the Reynolds Christmas and yet again I have to find something to wear. I might wear stretchy black pants and a t-shirt. I don't think any of my. Clothes are going to fit.
I am dreading this weekend so much because I got so fat.
I wont even be able to eat. Like I can't. I am huge. And they will see my fat ass eating and wonder how I can even eat when my ass is so fat. Like I dont deserve it and definitely don't need it. I don't want to go at all. I don't. Want to. I will hide the whole time. I can't do this I am freaking out.

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