Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Hump day post

Today is Wednesday.

On Monday my little brother got a new (to him) car🚗 and is making payment on it like an adult and I am proud of him i just hope he can keep it up and not fuck it up. I know it's hard to do. And he had a lot of other things he is going to have to set aside to have money for this but he needs the car to get to work to make the money

On Tuesday I went to town by myself (Yay go me) and stan went to Tuskegee for her story he is doing for Alabama Public Radio. 📻
I got glue sticks and  battery for my food scale. And popsicles. And chewing gum. Lol
Stan was really tired last night but he even did some work after he got back.. He went to record some sound to use with a story they are doing. So that was interesting. Like it was cool. He did the thing that the journalist news people do. He did the thing. And it was somewhere close not off in another town so it feels different. Anyway lolololol

Last night I only slept 4 hours and that feels perfect for me honestly. So we already know where this is going. I've been making art and jewelry and playing games and starting projects and not sleeping much and there we go.
The thing is my nurse practitioner that I see for my meds wanted to increase my Mood stabilizer but I couldn't afford how much it would cost. So we didn't do it. She also know that I will be getting insurance one way or another this year.
(after talking to a friend on Instagram I am half tempted to apply got disability because I know as soon as this happy is gone I will not be able get out of bed and function.. This is a chronic mental illness. It does not go away with time.. It is always going to be here forever. It is just managed by treatment of medicine💊 and therapy and counseling. Not cured.. You can't cure bipolar disorder.)

Oh anyways I got off on some Hella tangent there woooohooo 😁😵

Today I started off doing art  collage with magazines clippings (while watching Grey's Anatomy new season over again) I got to a stopping point and... My brother had what seems to me like night terror panic attacks. And he was freaking so i tried to calm him down as much as i can.
I went and got the garbage can from the end of the road. And checked the mail. And apparently I ordered the anchor bracelet AND the infinity symbol because the infinity symbol one came today. Lol I don't remember ordering the anchor one but it is OK and has meaning to me so I like it.

I'm finally feeling a little better about my bracelet Situation. I used to have so many and I have just felt Weird lately without anything.

The power went out around 1pm and came back on around 2:30pm and while it was off I did some jewelry making and that felt good.

And now I am wrapping up this so I can watch Game of Thrones (started yesterday at the beginning.. On ep 3 now)

Tonight is tacos and do not want.
Will eat Tortilla and meat.

Tomorrow I am going to fayette to visit my nana because she has brain cancer.... And i had a bad dream last night that she died before I saw her again. So I have to see her. I know she will be a mess but I love her so much anyway despite everything she does and has done because I know what it feels like to have these demons in your head that you have to fight every single day.

I know my nana is dying and I am going to lose my shit when it happens but right now I am trying to keep it together. I have to be happy tomorrow when I see her. Because that will make her happy.

Im crying now so I guess I will just stop.

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