Wednesday, April 26, 2017

wednesday wednesday wednesday

so today i have my "treatment update" appointment that happens once a year. and i had to pay $160 to tell the guy that i am depressed and anxious and they cant give me the meds i need and i am only going to be with them through the fall... and then i'm going to see a real psychiatrist.

i think i want to go to Trivia on friday with stan. i want to meet him for dinner and and go... hopefully it wont be the same again. stan says he is going to ask Bo Hicks if they are having a band play afterwards this friday and if not i will go. if they are i wont go. because it just... they are rushed to get it done.

on sunday stan has to go to huntsville for work.

i'm talking to julie again and i feel really good about it.
she said she will come see me next week on thursday or friday... i feel weird that somebody would take time out of their day to see me. i dont feel like i deserve it. i'm not that important. it makes me feel guilty.


i'm reading Angela's Ashes and it took me a while to get used to the way he writes but i like it.
i'm playing pokemon X and trying to make it mean more this time.. trying to remember and really get into it...
i have two books from the bookrack to read and then dad has some stephen king he wants me to read
i still want to go to the library and get harry potter and read all the harry potter books

we gotta get the house clean for the crawlfish boil... so much to do... i cant talk about how nervous i am because it bothers stan... and i want these people to come here i really do but i am so scared about them judging us. it makes me paranoid as hell.

now im going to play pokemon

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all i can say at this point is thank god for prozac

the psychiatrist has agreed to put me back on the 60 mgs of prozac i was on when i started seeing him and that has been able to pull me out ...