Wednesday, April 19, 2017

blah blah blah

i'm just trying to make it day to day right now.
a lot of bad things have happened to my family lately and i cant shake the bad feels and i cant fix it either so i just have to try and make it through.

There are a lot of boiled eggs left over from easter that i am happily eating

though i am not eating them as much as i could. i keep forgetting they are there

i am watching the pokemon xy show and trying to finish it... then i have restarted pokemon x and want to play it through and pay attention to it this time. i wasnt really paying attention last time i cant even tell you the names of towns or half the new pokemon.
i also restart pokemon sun because i feel like i could play it again like it was a new game

i'm reading stephen king's insomnia and i like it... its just a really long book... over 700 pages.
i am almost done with it though

then i can read something lighter and take a break
i didnt eat dinner last night
i just didnt want to leave the bedroom


i dont know.. i feel like.. i cant really.. i dont know..nothing is worth doing

i have an appoitment on april 26 and stan cant go with me to pay it and that means he has to give me money which means he is going to be weird and untrusting the whole time and even though he says he trusts me i know he doesnt and i can feel it in his vibes and i cant handle it i hate it... but i have done things to make myself unworthy of trust so i have to deal with it anyways

i dont know what else to talk about

i am going to watch pokemon now

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all i can say at this point is thank god for prozac

the psychiatrist has agreed to put me back on the 60 mgs of prozac i was on when i started seeing him and that has been able to pull me out ...