Wednesday, February 24, 2016

half week humping version shit week point oh

i thought my blog title was clever.


this week was supposed to be pretty good but i think i set off some kind of off balance in the universe by asking for way too much than we deserve i think

oh well

if we still get it i will gladly bear this burden
just sayin
#thatslovebitches

thats the tl;dr

on monday i became ill with some kind of infection in my throat which i thought was over (its now wednesday) but i have been mistaken and it hurts almost as much as it did initially (this is written this morning at 5am)
luckily i now have proper throat numbing lozenges and i may be better able to endure this (along with the aid of fever reducing medications)

the theme of the last two days has been: "so many nightmares not enough time"
the last nightmare at 4am-- fall asleep-- sleep paralysis then i but i dont wake up and it happens over and over again and the last few times it happened i was being raped and assaulted  by a stranger in the the room. i dont know who the person in the dream was supposed to be though i am sure it is a subconscious memory i am suppressing from when i was drugged and raped many years ago
this kind of dream happens every few years... sometimes months.. i try not to think and piece it together--- i dont want to know there is no justice to be sought after so long--- my mind seeks to bring light to things i wish ti banish-- this is a same shit different day kind of thing for me

i had therapy yesterday and i called in sick because i was in bed... and since i did not stir for two days--- my body is stiff beyond comprehension. no amount of stretching out seems to alleviate this enough to make it tolerable to start moving around and continuing with activities

today i will attempt to do all house work i can save for mopping and sweeping because my back hurts and i dont want to make it worse with physical activity


i need to catch up on other things that are too insignificant to mention here


i also have decided to start a new blog project that i am going to add to this blog where i discuss really weird thing i think about at 3 am that are sometime deep and philosophical and sometimes just really fucking weird and obscure and make no sense.

you know-- projects are good for me. keeps me busy. etc etc.


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