Thursday, February 19, 2015

well fuck me running with a spoon side ways

Stan and i had a fight that.. well, it started because of my OVER SHARING OF PERSONAL THINGS on Facebook and his mommy getting all worried and calling him at work in a panic.

yeah

anyway

but it was about a lot more than that and i know i have to stop being a little childish shithead

WHICH IS REALLY FUCKING HARD WHEN MY MEDICATION IS UP THIS HIGH
but if its not i get depressed so this is going to be an interesting few months

endahrncihandghe;sdihfn;orajhf;okfhnvdc


ok


anyway

I have decided (this is random and i have not mentioned this here at all btw) that I will not make long chains of beads that i will wrap around a spool and let people pick the length of their necklaces and bracelets on site at the festival. that will take up too much of my time i think. what i plan to do instead is offer to make adjustments on site. and be working on new pieces while im sitting there idle. so they see i do make this shit myself.

anyway

so the long chains i have started can be made into necklaces and bracelets right now as opposed to later when they are wanted by people....

i am dreading the ALABAMA SALES TAX FUCK ME IN THE ASS PART of this festival. they are going to take 9% off the top of what I make that day. FUCK THEM FUCK THEM FUCK THEM
so much damn hate

(note to self: this is why i have two blogs now, i can rant like this on the other one that i link to facebook occasionally. other not to self: you are insane you just tried to spell occasionally as "accasonaly" wtf is wrong with you, you batshit little cunt)

anyway


oh i am on a roll now here we go

other awesome things: last night Stan, Mac and I watch an old school Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie and we are not ashamed. It was awesome. I love it. I loved it as a kid (which is something else I realized, i liked a lot of boy cartoons growing up... this leads to more evidence that we are indeed BORN with our sexuality.. that its not learned. I am Bisexual. and i always have been. there. booyah. moving on....... lol as if i needed any more proof than the two ladies i have have had relations with, and the face that tits and ass get me more hot and bothered than man bodies 75% of the time. i think i might lean more towards women than men, honestly. but i want a man. and  I have a manly man. and i love him and his hairy manly smelly man self. All of it. i love it. so i have to be Bisexual. there is no other explanation. end of story.)



MOVING ONNNN

i have no CAR TO DRIVE SO I AM STRANDED HERE AND ITS REALLY STARTING TO MESS WITH MY HEAD A LITTLE BIT BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH STAN TAKES ME TO STORES ITS NOT THE SAME BECAUSE I AM NOT FREE TO ROAM AS LONG AS I WANT WITHOUT WORRYING IF HE IS BORED AND WORRIED ABOUT ME BEING IN THE STORE WITHOUT HIM BY MY SIDE

i just need that little break and independence. i really really need it.
and i can't get it right now.



i am still excited about how much Mrs.Lilly likes to sit in my lap and let me pet her now that she is an adult and living here. Its like a completely turn around from the bitchy cat she was at my parents house. i know now that she just doesnt like having big dogs and so many people around all the time. she is a quiet kitty like her mama and we like peace and quiet-- the noisy part of my parents house drove me insane too. which is why i, also, am doing a milliontimes better now that i'm out of my parents house. i can actually breathe and think for once.

i just can't handle so much people energy in one space it overwhelms me
#empathissues
#batshitcrazygypsypsychicladyissues

get offfff meee
my blog i blog what i want

yeah thats right

i said it

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all i can say at this point is thank god for prozac

the psychiatrist has agreed to put me back on the 60 mgs of prozac i was on when i started seeing him and that has been able to pull me out ...