Monday, November 10, 2014

Musical Monday

So despite feeling sick I went to band rehearsal anyways. I'm glad I did cause the girl paying 1st clarinet part apparently has this weird grudge against me. I guess she is intimated by me...  I never should have mentioned that I was studying music at troy. 
Lol its like high school band nerd drama or some shit....  Pretty amusing.

So anyways.. All day today I felt semi okay and I thought I would be okay to go. And I guess I was until I had to get dressed and had emotional breakdown because..... Nothing I tired to wear felt tight cause I'm a fucking fat ass........ 


When I got home after rehearsal I felt sorta okay and then all of a sudden I felt like I was dying. Like..... It was bad bad bad.

Stan is so amazing and kind and patient and I don't deserve him at all.  I really really don't.

I'm scared one day soon he will wake up and realize I'm a horrible person and leave.


Now it's almost 1am and I am awake because my stomach acid issue is.. Well it's an issue. Only solved with lots of med for it. 

I need to go and try to sleep now

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