So despite feeling sick I went to band rehearsal anyways. I'm glad I did cause the girl paying 1st clarinet part apparently has this weird grudge against me. I guess she is intimated by me... I never should have mentioned that I was studying music at troy.
Lol its like high school band nerd drama or some shit.... Pretty amusing.
So anyways.. All day today I felt semi okay and I thought I would be okay to go. And I guess I was until I had to get dressed and had emotional breakdown because..... Nothing I tired to wear felt tight cause I'm a fucking fat ass........
When I got home after rehearsal I felt sorta okay and then all of a sudden I felt like I was dying. Like..... It was bad bad bad.
Stan is so amazing and kind and patient and I don't deserve him at all. I really really don't.
I'm scared one day soon he will wake up and realize I'm a horrible person and leave.
Now it's almost 1am and I am awake because my stomach acid issue is.. Well it's an issue. Only solved with lots of med for it.
I need to go and try to sleep now