Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Wed nes hump dayyy
my not sleeping through the night is starting to bother Stan and that makes me very very worried because i am bipolar and sleeping through the night is probably not gonna happen unless they over medicate me ok and thats not gonna happen i refuse to take that shit
Tuesday my parents surprised me by coming to see me but I wasnt expecting it-- obviously-- but we managed to have a wonderful time. Food, browsing the thrift stores and what not. I was telling Stan just the other day about how... "dont care what your parents think, love who you want to love thing" didnt work for me deep inside because ... i really do want my parents to enjoy and have a relationship with whomever i end up with--because we become a family.. and so... i realized that the people i had tried to settle down with in the past would have never been ok... i would have always felt like something was wrong... because no one before Stan really clicked with my parents. and i mean, i wouldnt care what my parents think if they were overbearing or controlling-- but they arent. they and happy people and want me to be happy and we always get along pretty good and i needed someone who continued that feeling instead of making me feel separated from them.
i am back to using Evernote to sync between computer and android phone device and i think this will help my ability to concentrate one tasks that i need to get done--- i can set reminders and alarms with details about stuff that isnt possible with the simple alarm clock thing i have for my other (medication) alarms
got a good start this morning,
i have jewelry orders to make so thats fun
one of the interns at the radio station is in a sorority and.... well sorority girls have money and like custom shit with their colors and and what not so this works well for me. and its some stuff i like making so far--- braided bracelets in three colors
KIND of scared i might end up with a bulk order for... say.. a piece that is identical and there like 50 of them and its gift thats given to everybody at once or something at a function or what not... i know these things happen.. -- this is a smaller house though so i might be able to handle it
i WILL handle it. i ASKED the the higher powers to TRIPLE MY SALES when i last did a prosperity/abundance thing (bloodmoon lunar eclipse event). i was very specific. so i kind of stuck my foot in my mouth i think hahaha. we SHALL SEE.
this is probably gonna be my spell work making bank manifesting
ok well that is not a probably its a definitely
make a bracelet fell asleep and feel sick
my head hurts so baddd
i swear just as soon as i get to feeling better something messes it up again
stan is doing that whole worrying and taking care of me thing and it makes me feel weird
i dont deserve it at all and i dont like it
i cant make my head stop hurting
i dont know what to do
its not a migraine hurt
but its annoying as hell and makes me want to sleep
i feel badddd stan is too nice too me i dont deserve it why am i here i dont know i feel worthless =(
the psychiatrist has agreed to put me back on the 60 mgs of prozac i was on when i started seeing him and that has been able to pull me out ...
so the weekend get away was great. we gave decided to do that more often. it was really good for us. mentally and emotionally and as a coupl...
So... The festival was yesterday. And we had bad luck with the shepards hill place again. I tried it last year and didn't sell anything....
I have finally gotten all the Christmas cards we plan to send ready. Now I gotta get to post office. They will probably be late but I tried ...