Thursday, October 16, 2014

thursday =/

i just do not feel very well at all guys
i sleep and take meds and get it to to away for a bit and wake up and its back again
its like pressure in my head  and headache and i get the weird.. popping in the ears everytime i twist my neck or open and move my jawbone around..
also if i put pressure on the lumpy part behind my ear it seems to do something with the amount of pressure my head feels but i cant press on it all day i have shit to do


and just .. i am exhausted
like i have no energy
i dont like it at all


the meds we get to take for this interacts with my psych meds and i am loops ad knocked out or both

oh well
its not like i have anything to do anyways
hardly




i fell asleep like two different times today

went to walmart for my banana popsicles and they dont even have any =( =( =(

i ran into that assistant manager guy and i was feeling kind of blech. and he immediately asked me if i was ok. like i dont know.. i didnt think i was looking particularly unhappy... he asked about my purple velvet plant and said he still need to make little stakes in the pot and wire him up for support because his leaves are too heavy and big for him. i guess if you had them in the ground they would lay down on the ground and spread out that way instead of how we want them to grow vertically when they're in a pot indoors-- i told him what i learned from Jessy and also the FB page-- if you get it healthy and happy enough it will eventually FLOWER..... but the flowers STINK like.... NASTY FEET... apparently. isnt that funny??? ahaha apparently its pretty but smells so bad most people snatch up the buds before they bloom hahaha




stan is home now and came and in to bedroom and fell asleep-- i did too for a bit again.
i drank my "SMOOTH MOVE" tea cause i felt.. ehh ALSO echinacea tea for immune systemmmm

but anyways
and now i am running to the bathroom all the time ahaha oh well

so i might have a chance to do stuff for sororities here at the college like.. jewelry in their colors or whatever. good money making potential. though the bracelets and such they are wanting are so basic i dont see why the cant make their own... arent they always doing crafts and shit i know i see them in the arts and crafts section getting stuff for something or another EVERY SINGLE TIME IM IN THERE... and i know they are sorority girls cause THEY ARE ALL DRESSED THE SAME.. and usually have shirts that say something about their house or whatever...
its just easy to pick out the sheep cookie cutter girls and they are signing up for it and its kind of sad

anyways

 im sure they are too busy being mindless greek sheep to sit down and make anything that takes time and make it over and over again.. they just PAY OTHERS TO DO IT
cool and shit
i told stan that he needs to let the first girl who bought something know i cut her a deal--- i am not gonna under sell my shit to some spoiled bitch spending mommy and daddys money on bracelets they might wear once but apparently need.. i will take advantage of them. i do not care. they are stupid

i keep forgetting to tell mom that Stan wants to make homemade donuts saturday and show her how so she can do it.... i love that my family and my boyfriend can do these things... mom and stan can cook and dad and i can do nerdy electronic or tinker things.

my relationship with my dad has gotten so much better
and mom
they dont have me constantly on them asking if they are upset so they get to relax
i am such a worry wort.
i need to find a way to stop it but its so ingrained in my head i dont.. i dont know blah

i see that new other psychiatrist in November...i am not looking forward to it.. i do not handle change well
the losing Lisa as a therapist has kept me from seeking out therapy help and i am struggling because of it
i guess i will talk to the mind shrinker about that and see what he thinks

of course now i keep thinking that all this at IndianRivers is going to end when we get married and I have real health insurance
i dont know when its going to happen but we have talked about it a lot kind of
i think we want to stay separate to keep my food stamps for a while
then theres that whole... possible house thing .. i dunno blaahhh
it would be fun to have room for another kitty or puppy???  or more windowsills and such for plants!!! i love my plant babys!!

i havent been doing much photos late on instagram... i dunnno why just not feeling like taking them lots of interesting stuff to show the interbuttz but no want to shareee lolol


except for now that ive thought about it guess i willlll



peppersss


not sure whats happening tonight yet i think Stan might sleep straight until morning... 
he didnt even change out of work clothes. =(

he had a very strange dream the other night and his dream are... special... so i am expecting something to happen along the lines of it.. somewhere. in the world...ive been keeping an eye on  the earthwatcherEarthChanges news feeds i have set up ... lots of earthquakes.. around 4-5 mag... we are in the eclipse portal... i dont think it will happen unless the Sun ALSO sends out a super huge CME our way ....

ok i just checked spaceweather.com and this is interesting ... i will definitely be keeping an eye on this ahhh

i guess i will go get some ice cream cause yeah 

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