Sunday, October 19, 2014

sunday.............ugh

the pain and pressure in my head that i suppose is some kind of severe congestion or sinus allergy thing
oh god--- its bad bad bad...

like my entire left side of my head feels like its pulsating with pain. my jaw bone and my teeth even hurt, my cheekbones under there ..  behind my ear.. just.. every fucking where

the only thing that makes it tolerable is sleep and last night i couldnt even sleep no matter how much shit i took to make me sleep

it was just that bad



and this is on top of the not being able to breath panic attack thing that happens when i go out in public lately


jesus christ this is ridiculous i want to stop playing the game of life i am done this is not fucking fair
ffff


---

so anyways at some point i woke up to stan and it was late afternoon and time for food apparent. i ate and watched LostGirl and decided that if i didnt practice clarinet now i wouldnt get to before band tomorrow so i did it and passed out. awake now at 8pm
and i swear if its not my head or chest its my fucking stomach/bowels



stan is taking care of me so much it makes me feel like a fucking failure as a wife and its driving me insane

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